5 Common Fears of Committing

Here are 5 common relationship fears that prevent people from committing.


1. You’re Afraid The Relationship Won’t Change

Many people stay in relationships with the hope that things will improve. It is a common belief that once you hit a certain milestone, such as moving in together or getting engaged, everything will be better. People and relationships should change as they grow, but committing to a relationship that does not feel like a fit is usually not a good idea. If there is a list of things you are hoping will change, you probably are fearing commitment for the right reasons. Compatibility has to play a big role in taking your relationship to the next step.


2. You’re Afraid Of Being Loved

Being afraid of letting yourself be loved causes a lot of people to pull away from their relationships. This also goes along with being afraid to be vulnerable or feeling unworthy of love. This is understandable, since it can be scary to receive love. You may notice this happening if you constantly find yourself fighting against your partner’s attempts to express their feelings to you. This may be a sign that you are not letting love in, rather than your partner specifically.


3. You’re Afraid Of Recreating Relationship Patterns

Everyone has witnessed or been a part of an unhealthy relationship, whether it was your own or a couple you knew. When you are comparing your relationship to these ones you’ve experienced, really ask yourself if there are similarities between your relationship and these other relationships. If you find yourself being worried about things that are not actually present in your relationship, this could a fear of commitment, rather than your relationship having these issues.


4. You’re Afraid Of The Relationship Ending

A big reason that it can be hard to commit is the possibility of the relationship ending. The deeper you fall for someone, the greater potential you have of getting hurt. People will try to talk themselves out of relationships to prevent getting their heart broken down the road. When you find yourself pulling away from your partner, notice if you are thinking about the relationship ending. If you are trying to protect yourself from this, then you probably have a fear of commitment, rather than there being an issue with the relationship.


5. You’re Afraid There Could Be Someone Better

The most common commitment-related fear is thinking there could be someone better out there. With online dating, there are many more possibilities right at our fingertips, which makes it seem like there are better matches available. Try to think objectively about the incompatibilities between the two of you. If they seem relatively small, you may be looking for a reason to end the relationship, rather than dealing with deal breakers.


It is normal to have fears when committing to a relationship, but do yours land more in the fear of commitment side of things? If you are afraid of the idea of committing, try working with a therapist who can guide you through the process and uncover what is holding you back. Click here to work with a therapist who specializes in relationships!