When we think of the iconic story, “The Gift of the Magi”, we think of gifts that embody quality over quantity, meaning the value is based on thought over any amount of expenditure. In fact, the idea of giving a gift based on thought versus cost has some research to back it. Humans may actually be wired to be overly generous and that proclivity can actually confer a large survival advantage.

Psychologists from UC Santa Barbara aimed to test this idea by examining the concept that people choose to incur costs themselves in order to allocate benefits to others. Essentially the research shows we are likely to have more repeated encounters than one-shot relationships; given that we may run into people again and again, it makes sense that we behave generously to those we meet (Delton et al., 2011).

It has actually been shown that we like giving gifts more than we like receiving them. In one study, individuals were given a choice to receive a material benefit (up to $128) or to donate money to a selection of charities. When selecting a donation, this would decrease their own financial rewards, while selecting themselves would not change what they received (Moll et al, 2006). All individuals in this study were actually found to choose to engage in donations, giving an average of 40% of their earnings to charity. Brain studies showed that when people donated to charities, the mesolimbic reward system increased its activity and was inactive when one chose to keep the money for themselves (Moll et al., 2006). This area of the brain relates to social attachment indicating the joy of giving a gift my be more powerful than receiving one.

Another aspect of gift-giving to consider is the thought that lies behind the gift choice. One considers someone else’s vantage point, which is a difficult shift in thinking to make as it requires an individual to exhibit empathy such that one can completely be in another’s mind. Whether the gift is a complete success or not, the knowledge of the effort you put in is what matters most. So when you are trying to make the shift from your mindset to someone else’s, think about what present would be best suited for that person. It is generosity to even take on this mindset over any specific gift given.

This idea of a time investment may not seem worth it to some. In this day and age, we can hop online quickly and get our loved ones anything they want without hassle. Wouldn’t they be better off if we did this instead? Not exactly. Generosity in thought and time has multiple benefits including being one of three top predictors of a successful marriage. The generosity of time and thought in actuality can make us feel better about ourselves; we can be happier and see the world as a better plus, thus an investment to make for ourselves and others.

At the end of the day, the “ideal” present isn’t one that is at the top of someone’s Amazon Wish List, but the idea and thought behind a gift to show your concern for the other. Thoughtful giving can be more rewarding than receiving it on many levels as we have seen socially, personally, and neurologically.

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