As much as we would like to never experience grief, it is a universal experience that is unfortunately inevitable. Grief is the acute feeling of shock, overwhelming sadness & pain when someone passes away. It comes on suddenly, is strong & usually knocks the wind out of us. Grief comes in waves & may impact you at different times in your life. For example, if you just received a promotion at work, your first instinct might be to call your mother to share the good news. As you pick up the phone, you suddenly remember that your mother passed away a few years ago. The realization that she is no longer living, causes feelings of grief to wash over you. This is how grief ebbs & flows. Grieving on the other hand is the process of how we adapt to this loss in order to move forward with our lives. Grieving is fluid & demonstrates the relationship we have with grief as it changes over time.
Exploring Dimensions of Wellness
When many of us think of “wellness”, the first thing that may come to mind is our physical or mental health. Although our physical and mental health are important aspects of our wellness, there are many more contributing factors. Debbie Stoewen identifies eight separate, but equally important, components of wellness (2017). These eight components, named the “Dimensions of Wellness”, are independent of one another, but can also significantly influence and impact each other as well. These dimensions don’t require equal attention paid to them, but neglecting one can have negative consequences on the others, including our overall wellness.
It's Parade Season!
It’s that time of the year again. St. Patrick’s day can be a highly anticipated celebration for many people. Many times there are parade’s and day long events that often include excessive alcohol intake. People usually start early and day drinking can be something glorified and bragged about on social media. If you live in or around the Jersey Shore you know that parade season can last a few weekends. This trend can leave a lot of triggers for people who are recovering and trying to protect their recovery with substance use. Even if you want to go to the parade, the temptation and environment can be difficult when you see people inebriated, slurring their words, and being rambunctious. The boardwalk’s starting to come alive again. Bars are flooded and food concessions are open.
Sleep Hygiene: Understanding & Coping With Sleep Debt
Sleep is a crucial part of our lives, and it’s essential for good health. However, in today’s fast-paced society, it’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of sleep debt. Sleep debt is a term used to describe the cumulative effect of not getting enough sleep over time. This can happen if we consistently go to bed late and wake up early, or if we have poor sleep quality. When we don’t get enough sleep, our bodies start to accumulate a sleep debt, which can lead to a range of physical and mental health problems.
Parenting Support: I found out my child is self-harming… what do I do?
Being a parent and finding out that your child has been intentionally harming themselves without any intent to kill themselves can be bring up a range of emotions; it can be upsetting, difficult, and maybe even confusing. It is something that no parent ever wants to learn about their child. This can bring up many questions for a parent related to how to proceed or why this is happening. The following will help best answer these questions.
DBT Skills: Understanding The Sacred Self
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, is a model of therapy that emphasizes skills-based interventions to help develop coping strategies and effectively manage moods. Sacred Self is one of the skills taught through DBT. This skill is a powerful tool for mindfulness, self-validation, and self-love. As we break down this skill, please try and envision what this would look like in your life.
Is this Laziness or Procrastination?
Are you lazy or is this just plain old procrastination? In order to answer this complicated question, let’s first examine the definitions of both. Procrastination is defined as the act of delaying or postponing something. Laziness on the other hand is voluntarily choosing not to exert energy to complete something. Even though they sound similar, procrastination & laziness are not one in the same. Do you ever make a to-do list and then feel psychologically paralyzed when it’s time to begin? You are not alone. Many people get caught in a cycle of putting things off, which inevitably results in unwanted procrastination. The old saying goes, too many tomorrows & tomorrow never comes.
The 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety
The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety is a technique that uses emotional grounding to reduce anxiety. The technique gets you to focus on the present, shifting your focus away from your worry. Negative thoughts tend to stem from the future or the past, so by focusing on the here and now, you can reduce your negative thoughts and gain some clarity. The 3-3-3 rule is a short exercise that you can use on a daily basis or during moments of high stress or anxiety.
Emotional intelligence
Most people are familiar with the standardized assessment and scoring to assess intelligence- IQ (intelligence quotient), but oftentimes the topic of emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient) is overlooked. It can be helpful to learn and implement skills that assist in understanding and increasing emotional intelligence.
Creating & Maintaining Friendships
In my own experience, and in the experiences of many others I have spoken to, it can be difficult to find new friends or even socialize in general. The Covid-19 pandemic forced many of us into isolation and we are still dealing with it in many ways nearly three years later. At the same time, many of us are getting older and our friend, or ourselves, might feel distanced from long-time and childhood friends as we navigate conflicting work schedules and developing families of our own. Many of us may be moving hundreds or even thousands of miles away from our homes and friends or many of our friends might be doing the same. We may no longer be in school where socializing is convenient and encouraged and we may not be spending time wandering around our neighborhoods, meeting new people. Having a support network of friends, and socializing, is an important aspect to our mental health and well-being. So, what are some ways we can fulfill our need to socialize and maybe make some new friends?
How to Make Overthinking an After-thought
Overthinking is a common struggle that can lead to increased anxiety, stress, and negative emotions. Most thoughts and feelings are very temporary. However, it is the chain of thoughts and emotions we may engage in that causes these undesired feelings to outstay their welcome. If you struggle with overthinking, you are not alone; there are several strategies you can use to reduce or eliminate habits of overthinking and improve your mental well-being.
ADHD: Understanding Symptom Differences Amongst Females
We all know the classic symptoms of ADHD. We understand that it can be hard for someone to focus and concentrate on their work. They may be more hyperactive, impulsive, and distractible. It is easier to identify ADHD in males earlier in life because they struggle to sit still, talk a lot in class, and struggle to follow along with the class. This does not help women who may not be as easy to recognize ADHD symptoms and they can go a long time without receiving the help they could truly benefit from. If you go to receive help because you wonder why your mind races, it is hard to initiate work, and stay focused, it can be misidentified as anxiety or depression. Did you know what anxiety and depression can be a secondary reaction experience to a primary ADHD diagnosis?
The Winter Blues
Many people struggle with lower moods, sadness, lack of motivation, or worse when winter time comes. The cold and gloomy days can be difficult to navigate when you are someone who feels much more energized and brightened by the sun. You might have heard about seasonal affective disorder, or are just someone who feels different during this time of year. Whether you have been diagnosed with an official disorder, or are generally struggling with your mental health, such as anxiety, depression, or more, seasonal changes can be difficult for many people. If you are an active person and enjoys the outdoors, winter time can limit some of those opportunities. It can be chillier to run or to hike, the beach is less enjoyable, the wind and snow can pierce through your jacket even if you try to get out of the house. That can be a common mindset if you are not someone eager for snow-based activities lie skiing or snowboarding. How can we cope and feel more ambivalent about this time of year? The holiday cheery and energy has subsided, gathering’s aren’t as common, some people can get lost with what to do.
New Year, New Me
We have heard it before. New Years Resolutions. At the stroke of midnight, we kiss our loved ones, wish them a happy new year, and set some goals for ourselves to be better. If you are someone to abandon that shortly after you set your sights on change, you might be reading this blog. Why is it easier for people to trail off with their goals and revert back to their old ways? Changing habits is actually hard work and because that work requires more time, attention, and commitment, it’s easier for us to let go of that and be where it is comfortable, our “old” self. Perhaps you have reached a point where you are entirely fed up with who that person is.
Tips for Blending Families
Blending two families can be a complex and challenging process. With some basic skills and commitment to ideas like being patient, having open communication, and a willingness to compromise, it is possible to create a harmonious and fulfilling family dynamic. Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you are in the process of blending two families:
Anger Management Skills
Anger is a very common and natural emotion that everyone experiences regularly throughout their lifetime. However, anger can spike and become intense and difficult to manage, this is when it can have negative consequences on both in the short-term and long-term. If struggling with anger management is something you can relate to, there are several skills and tools you can use to manage anger spikes and express your true feeling effectively.
Coping With Difficult Emotions
Coping skills are a set of behaviors or actions that have positive benefits to one’s mental health. They can be used in situations to help alleviate any difficult emotions (ie: anger, sadness, anxiety, etc.) or they can be used daily to assist in maintaining a positive mood.
The unique thing about coping skills is that they are different for everyone! Where one skill may be helpful for you, it may be something that does not work for someone else. It may take trial and error of varied coping skills to see what is unique to helping you. Try out different hobbies or interests to see if they are helpful in alleviating those difficult emotions, commonly these hobbies/interests can also work as coping skills. Additionally, try out coping skills that you may be skeptical about because they could surprise you in a positive way. As time goes on and you begin to learn more about yourself, it can become easier to recognize the coping skills that help you to manage these difficult emotions best.
Grieving The Loss Of A Furry Friend
After a significant loss such as a pet, grief begins. The loss of a pet can bring up varying emotions. Pain, sorrow, sadness, anger, and even sometimes feelings of shame for experiencing these emotions over “just a pet”. These emotions are natural during the grieving process, and it is important to take the time to take care of yourself in this. The following are some helpful ways to assist you through your grieving process. Remember, everyone experiences grief and loss differently so some of these may not feel necessary to you and that is okay! Make sure you are doing what feels is right for your own grief because with grief there is never a “right” or “wrong” way