Anger is a very common and natural emotion that everyone experiences regularly throughout their lifetime. However, anger can spike and become intense and difficult to manage, this is when it can have negative consequences on both in the short-term and long-term. If struggling with anger management is something you can relate to, there are several skills and tools you can use to manage anger spikes and express your true feeling effectively.
Anger is one of the emotions most people would put in their list of fundamental feelings that they, and most others, would experience regularly. There are entire treatment modalities and services specifically dedicated to anger management that help educate and coach individuals in recognizing anger triggers and reducing the spikes in distress in the moment. This does lead to the idea that anger is one of the most common emotions that people do struggle with in ways that directly effects their lives. Though anger is a very strong feeling and one of the ways we may choose to express how we feel in many situations in our lives, it was during my start as a therapist that I was taught, and then reaffirmed through my experiences, that anger almost always comes second. This is means that it is rarely a primary emotion and is often then referred to as a secondary emotion. A secondary emotion refers to a feeling one has about another already existing feeling. It is here that the iceberg idea begins.
While anger is a valid emotion and natural to feel, when anger takes over and we lose control this can lead to challenges in our personal and professional lives, impacting our emotional wellbeing. However, there are techniques to manage our anger so that we can feel in control of our emotions. Anger management strategies can be extremely helpful in managing and reducing feelings of anger. Anger management strategies include learning how to recognize what anger looks like in ourselves, how to reduce feelings of anger, stepping back and reflecting on our anger before acting on it, understanding the triggers that cause us to feel angry, and how to utilize anger in healthy ways.
We all know that anger is a normal emotion and valid in many situations. However expressing anger through yelling, expletives, or aggressive behaviors can lead to negative consequences. It’s important we find ways to share our anger with others in ways that allow the other to hear and understand us.
Anger is a healthy emotion, but often we worry it isn’t. Focused on the behaviors anger can lead to, we often avoid thinking about and tackling why we are feeling angry. We all experience anger, from frustration with a co-worker to full-blown anger in a breakup or another scenario. Amongst varying degrees of anger, it’s helpful to have strategies that support regulating these emotions, so that you are not impacted negatively.
By practicing coping strategies daily, to reduce and manage anger, we can find ourselves better able to manage stressors as they arise. Here are a few daily practices to try that can support this.
