Being a parent and finding out that your child has been intentionally harming themselves without any intent to kill themselves can be bring up a range of emotions; it can be upsetting, difficult, and maybe even confusing. It is something that no parent ever wants to learn about their child. This can bring up many questions for a parent related to how to proceed or why this is happening. The following will help best answer these questions.
Many people struggle with lower moods, sadness, lack of motivation, or worse when winter time comes. The cold and gloomy days can be difficult to navigate when you are someone who feels much more energized and brightened by the sun. You might have heard about seasonal affective disorder, or are just someone who feels different during this time of year. Whether you have been diagnosed with an official disorder, or are generally struggling with your mental health, such as anxiety, depression, or more, seasonal changes can be difficult for many people. If you are an active person and enjoys the outdoors, winter time can limit some of those opportunities. It can be chillier to run or to hike, the beach is less enjoyable, the wind and snow can pierce through your jacket even if you try to get out of the house. That can be a common mindset if you are not someone eager for snow-based activities lie skiing or snowboarding. How can we cope and feel more ambivalent about this time of year? The holiday cheery and energy has subsided, gathering’s aren’t as common, some people can get lost with what to do.
Anger is a very common and natural emotion that everyone experiences regularly throughout their lifetime. However, anger can spike and become intense and difficult to manage, this is when it can have negative consequences on both in the short-term and long-term. If struggling with anger management is something you can relate to, there are several skills and tools you can use to manage anger spikes and express your true feeling effectively.
Coping skills are a set of behaviors or actions that have positive benefits to one’s mental health. They can be used in situations to help alleviate any difficult emotions (ie: anger, sadness, anxiety, etc.) or they can be used daily to assist in maintaining a positive mood.
The unique thing about coping skills is that they are different for everyone! Where one skill may be helpful for you, it may be something that does not work for someone else. It may take trial and error of varied coping skills to see what is unique to helping you. Try out different hobbies or interests to see if they are helpful in alleviating those difficult emotions, commonly these hobbies/interests can also work as coping skills. Additionally, try out coping skills that you may be skeptical about because they could surprise you in a positive way. As time goes on and you begin to learn more about yourself, it can become easier to recognize the coping skills that help you to manage these difficult emotions best.
After a significant loss such as a pet, grief begins. The loss of a pet can bring up varying emotions. Pain, sorrow, sadness, anger, and even sometimes feelings of shame for experiencing these emotions over “just a pet”. These emotions are natural during the grieving process, and it is important to take the time to take care of yourself in this. The following are some helpful ways to assist you through your grieving process. Remember, everyone experiences grief and loss differently so some of these may not feel necessary to you and that is okay! Make sure you are doing what feels is right for your own grief because with grief there is never a “right” or “wrong” way
New Years has recently passed and many of us have set resolutions or goals we want to accomplish in 2023. For many of us, as great and important as these goals may be, we might find it difficult to stick to and achieve them. Many times we might find it difficult to start working towards our goals, or if we start, we might stop shortly after beginning. Although there are several factors that may contribute to our difficulties in achieving our new goals, one common one is that these goals are often too large or too vague. One strategy we can use to help us toward reaching our goals is by setting “SMART” goals. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timebound. These components work together to help to keep us motivated as we start and progress toward our goals.
Whether it be with our partners, friends, family or a stranger in a grocery store, disagreements, arguments and conflict can happen. They are a normal part of our relationships and even the healthiest of relationships experience them. However, just because everyone experiences them, does not make them any easier to deal with. In fact, in the heat of the moment, even the smallest of disagreements can feel like they begin to spiral out of control and end up turning into a much bigger problem. To navigate these disagreements, there are some strategies we can use to reduce the intensity of the disagreement and possibly even end it in a better place than it began. Although it “takes two to tango”, just one person changing their behavior and responses in a disagreement can change the course of the conversation.
It’s 2023 & social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter & Tik Tok are all the rage. Technology allows us to live in a world where we can connect socially with others without actually getting together in person. Engaging in social media produces dopamine in the brain, otherwise known as the “feel good” chemical. This rush of dopamine is what motivates us to continuously check our social media apps in the search to feel good.
There are some benefits to social media use such as reconnecting with family & friends that live around the world. Finding new friends in your community & getting involved in social causes that need awareness. Connecting socially if you are housebound or live remotely without access to others. Lastly, it gives us the ability to seek emotional support from others, while providing this type of support in return. Therefore, social media is not all bad & can be used in moderation to enhance our lives.
What is self-talk & why does it matter? Self-talk is just that, the way you speak to yourself. It is your inner voice comprised of conscious thoughts, beliefs & biases that creates the monologue in your head. Whether you are aware of your patterns of self-talk or not, it is there. Self-talk has the ability to tear you down or lift you up- it all depends if your self-talk is positive or negative.
If your inner voice is consistently negative, it acts as a harsh critic & promotes pessimism in your life. Negative self-talk decreases self-esteem & confidence, causing you to feel badly about yourself. It will keep you from succeeding and it will fool you into thinking you will always fail. Negative self-talk causes endless cycles of rumination that lead to increased levels of depression & anxiety. This negativity often distorts reality causing you to see the world through a negative lens. So, I ask you, how can you possibly feel good or have a good day when your thought stream is consistently negative? The bottom line is, you can’t. Keep reading & you will learn how to change those negative thoughts into positive ones in order to live a happier life.
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or don’t celebrate any holiday at all, this time of year can be particularly not the jolliest time for some. In fact, the celebrations, the get-to-togethers, the gifts, or realizing that your family are not people you look forward to seeing can be difficult to admit. Perhaps you do not have any close friends or family and this time of year is a glaring reflection of that. This is a typically stressful time for most people whether you have excitement and parties to look forward to or not. The logistics of planning something, financially making the season work for you, the pressure to get the holiday cards out, bake the cookies, buy the food, clean the house, put up the decorations, and deal with the family drama that may ensue from hosting the holiday this year can be especially draining. If you are someone who does not celebrate at all, or being around your family is a trigger, this can be a vulnerable time for you. The seasons are changing, it's getting darker earlier, and it can be a bitter fight to stay sober, not relapse with substance use, eating disorders, or general mental health.
Words and the language we use in our daily lives have a significant impact on how we view ourselves and the world around us. As many of us have seen or experienced, even how something is worded can influence our interpretation and reaction of what was said. However, this is not only the case for the person listening. The language we use can shape and reinforce our own views, thoughts and mood, for better or for worse. In both scenarios, whether we are listening to someone else or saying something ourselves, the language we use can contribute to how we respond or behave in any given situation.
Mental health and physical health have commonly been considered two entirely different and separate things. However, the two are very closely related in many different ways. At the broadest level, poor mental health negatively impacts one’s physical health and poor physical health may negatively impact one’s mental health. However, positive physical health promotes improvements in mental health and vice-versa. Many factors contribute to both one’s physical health and mental health; however, the benefits, or consequences, one has on the other are significant.
As we begin to prepare for the holidays, this is also the time we turn back our clocks to standard time. In order to remember which way the clocks move, we’ve named it “fall back” & “spring forward.” Falling back means changing the clocks back one full hour, resulting in earlier sunsets & later sunrises. This ultimately means more darkness throughout the rest of Fall & Winter. Darkness can feel increasingly isolating & is known to exacerbate already existing mental health problems such as depression & anxiety. Changing back the clocks also negatively impacts our circadian rhythm (body clock), disrupting our sleep/wake cycle & the production of melatonin. Darkness increases the production of melatonin, thus leaving us to feel more tired, sleepy & fatigued in the winter months. In essence, sunlight is directly linked to our circadian rhythm therefore it is no surprise that when the sun goes down, we begin to get sleepy, even if it’s only 5pm!
Video games have frequently been portrayed in the media as, at best, a “waste of time”, and at worst, harmful to those who play them. However, there has been an increasing amount of research that not only contradicts these claims, but identifies numerous benefits of playing video games. Another common misconception of video games is that it is for children, particularly male children; however, the people who play video games has continued to become an increasingly diverse group. The age of the average video game player is 35 and it is estimated that approximately 59% of those who play video games are male and 41% are female (Halbrook, O’Donell & Mstefi 2019).
One of the things that distress people struggling with mental health challenges like anxiety and depression is the inability to make a decision or sometimes feeling like they do not know what it is they want in a given situation. This can cause much distress and make undesirable situations even more difficult. There are many insight-building strategies that help people clarify what is important to them and what choices they want to make. In this blog, we will be going over one of those strategies in the form of a four-square pros and cons exercise. This is inspired by that from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy but includes a few differences. This exercise is designed to help you access your wisdom regarding a particular choice. Please keep in mind that when using this exercise, each time it is used it is used for the positive statement of a choice, and then the negative statement of the choice. For example, this tool would be done with statements such as “attending my friend’s birthday party” and “not attending my friend’s birthday party” instead of 2 different statements such as “Attending my friend’s birthday party” and “Going to the mall”. Now, let’s review more about how this exercise is used.
