What is self-talk & why does it matter? Self-talk is just that, the way you speak to yourself. It is your inner voice comprised of conscious thoughts, beliefs & biases that creates the monologue in your head. Whether you are aware of your patterns of self-talk or not, it is there. Self-talk has the ability to tear you down or lift you up- it all depends if your self-talk is positive or negative.
If your inner voice is consistently negative, it acts as a harsh critic & promotes pessimism in your life. Negative self-talk decreases self-esteem & confidence, causing you to feel badly about yourself. It will keep you from succeeding and it will fool you into thinking you will always fail. Negative self-talk causes endless cycles of rumination that lead to increased levels of depression & anxiety. This negativity often distorts reality causing you to see the world through a negative lens. So, I ask you, how can you possibly feel good or have a good day when your thought stream is consistently negative? The bottom line is, you can’t. Keep reading & you will learn how to change those negative thoughts into positive ones in order to live a happier life.
Here are tips to change your negative self-talk:
Stop & ask yourself- What am I saying to myself? How am I thinking about this situation? Learn to be aware & conscious of your thoughts. These initial thoughts that pop into our head are called automatic thoughts. The first step towards changing these thoughts is to be aware & identify them.
Question your automatic thoughts. Is there evidence that supports this thought? Is this thought true? Often times the thought is not true at all & has no basis in reality. Negative thoughts are usually exaggerated & over the top. It is your job to identify that the thought doesn’t serve you.
Challenge yourself to explore other perceptions & explanations of this thought. Is there another way of looking at the same situation? We tend to look through the world through a lens that was created earlier in life. Therefore, sometimes that lens is not helpful & causes distorted thinking patterns. These are called cognitive distortions & serve as unhelpful thinking traps. Begin looking at your thoughts in a new light, with a different mindset.
Write your thoughts down & say them out loud. Do they still hold ground & make sense to you after doing this exercise? Do you feel differently about these thoughts after examining them? Hear what you are telling yourself & think about the power these words have on how you feel.
Stop intrusive thoughts from ruminating using visualization. Close your eyes, imagine a situation where you see your negative thought floating in the air, now swat it away & watch it disappear into thin air. Free yourself of these negative thoughts.
There are many benefits to thinking positively & speaking towards yourself in a manner that promotes optimism. It will increase your self-esteem, confidence & feelings of overall wellbeing. Positive self-talk will decrease anxiety, depression & stress. It will motivate you to overcome obstacles & reach for success. Positive self-talk will increase your level of calmness & promote a sense of peace. It can even help manage chronic pain & causes you to feel more in control of your life.
Begin looking at the glass as half full, not half empty. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a good friend. Often times you give positive advice to friends, but don’t take that advice for yourself. It is important to think, act & behave in a positive manner. Surround yourself with positive people & optimistic messages. Paste a sticky note with a positive affirmation on your mirror & read it every day. In essence, be kind to yourself. If you don’t speak positively to yourself, no one else will, so it is up to you to make this change. Live & breathe positivity- it will change your life!
Seeking some supporting in developing your positive self-talk? Click here.