Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, is a model of therapy that emphasizes skills-based interventions to help develop coping strategies and effectively manage moods. Sacred Self is one of the skills taught through DBT. This skill is a powerful tool for mindfulness, self-validation, and self-love. As we break down this skill, please try and envision what this would look like in your life.
Are you lazy or is this just plain old procrastination? In order to answer this complicated question, let’s first examine the definitions of both. Procrastination is defined as the act of delaying or postponing something. Laziness on the other hand is voluntarily choosing not to exert energy to complete something. Even though they sound similar, procrastination & laziness are not one in the same. Do you ever make a to-do list and then feel psychologically paralyzed when it’s time to begin? You are not alone. Many people get caught in a cycle of putting things off, which inevitably results in unwanted procrastination. The old saying goes, too many tomorrows & tomorrow never comes.
The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety is a technique that uses emotional grounding to reduce anxiety. The technique gets you to focus on the present, shifting your focus away from your worry. Negative thoughts tend to stem from the future or the past, so by focusing on the here and now, you can reduce your negative thoughts and gain some clarity. The 3-3-3 rule is a short exercise that you can use on a daily basis or during moments of high stress or anxiety.
Most people are familiar with the standardized assessment and scoring to assess intelligence- IQ (intelligence quotient), but oftentimes the topic of emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient) is overlooked. It can be helpful to learn and implement skills that assist in understanding and increasing emotional intelligence.
In my own experience, and in the experiences of many others I have spoken to, it can be difficult to find new friends or even socialize in general. The Covid-19 pandemic forced many of us into isolation and we are still dealing with it in many ways nearly three years later. At the same time, many of us are getting older and our friend, or ourselves, might feel distanced from long-time and childhood friends as we navigate conflicting work schedules and developing families of our own. Many of us may be moving hundreds or even thousands of miles away from our homes and friends or many of our friends might be doing the same. We may no longer be in school where socializing is convenient and encouraged and we may not be spending time wandering around our neighborhoods, meeting new people. Having a support network of friends, and socializing, is an important aspect to our mental health and well-being. So, what are some ways we can fulfill our need to socialize and maybe make some new friends?
We have heard it before. New Years Resolutions. At the stroke of midnight, we kiss our loved ones, wish them a happy new year, and set some goals for ourselves to be better. If you are someone to abandon that shortly after you set your sights on change, you might be reading this blog. Why is it easier for people to trail off with their goals and revert back to their old ways? Changing habits is actually hard work and because that work requires more time, attention, and commitment, it’s easier for us to let go of that and be where it is comfortable, our “old” self. Perhaps you have reached a point where you are entirely fed up with who that person is.
What is self-talk & why does it matter? Self-talk is just that, the way you speak to yourself. It is your inner voice comprised of conscious thoughts, beliefs & biases that creates the monologue in your head. Whether you are aware of your patterns of self-talk or not, it is there. Self-talk has the ability to tear you down or lift you up- it all depends if your self-talk is positive or negative.
If your inner voice is consistently negative, it acts as a harsh critic & promotes pessimism in your life. Negative self-talk decreases self-esteem & confidence, causing you to feel badly about yourself. It will keep you from succeeding and it will fool you into thinking you will always fail. Negative self-talk causes endless cycles of rumination that lead to increased levels of depression & anxiety. This negativity often distorts reality causing you to see the world through a negative lens. So, I ask you, how can you possibly feel good or have a good day when your thought stream is consistently negative? The bottom line is, you can’t. Keep reading & you will learn how to change those negative thoughts into positive ones in order to live a happier life.
If you are searching for this, you may be feeling the pressure and stress from rapidly approaching deadlines and final exams. Perhaps the rest of the semester went without issue. Maybe you were living carefree, completing assignments whenever you could and sometimes skipping a class just to have a ‘me’ day. Perhaps you attended meticulously, taking very precise notes and studying very hard. Regardless of your college experience, final exams can be a very vulnerable and tense time for many students. If you are feeling the effects of that with late night study sessions, skipping meals and sacrificing sleep to catch up on assignments and material you might have skimped over before, here are some things that can help you with that.
When an unexpected situation or conversation occurs that does not go in your favor, it is second nature to act upon the first thoughts and feelings that come to mind. However, these thoughts and feelings may not always be the most effective way to handle whatever the situation may be. It is important to respond to situations rather than to react. You may be thinking, what is the difference? Reacting and responding are similar in nature as both come from a place of wanting to be heard or understood. However, there are differences between these two.
Erik Erikson (1902-1994) is a psychologist most well known for his model on psychosocial development. Erikson’s focus on the social aspects of development, and the impacts of social influences on our development, differentiated his model from others and provided a framework that would progress the field of psychology for decades to come. Erikson’s stages of development theory details eight distinct and consecutive stages one progresses through to develop a healthy sense of self.
The holidays are now over & it’s time to assess the past year- Are you working too much? Are you feeling fatigued & stressed on a regular basis? Are you isolated & withdrawn from friends/family? Are you experiencing a low mood or poor sleep? Are you having difficulty concentrating or feeling unmotivated? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing burnout.
Validating your partner is a skill that is essential to establishing and maintaining intimacy. When you validate your partner, you are letting them know that you see how they are feeling, their feelings are important to you, and you are giving reassurance that they feel that way. Everyone has a different experience, and those in distress may experience painful feelings for different reasons. What is hurtful for one partner may not be the same for another. Validating your partner is not the same as being in agreement, you can still disagree and validate.
Infidelity in marriages has been a topic of interest for many years, with many studies conducted on the topic. Recently, with divorce rates being what they are in the United States, there has been an increase in the amount of research focused on understanding the causes and effects of infidelity as well as possible ways of minimizing the probability of it occurring.
Words and the language we use in our daily lives have a significant impact on how we view ourselves and the world around us. As many of us have seen or experienced, even how something is worded can influence our interpretation and reaction of what was said. However, this is not only the case for the person listening. The language we use can shape and reinforce our own views, thoughts and mood, for better or for worse. In both scenarios, whether we are listening to someone else or saying something ourselves, the language we use can contribute to how we respond or behave in any given situation.
Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of our environment, bodily sensations, thoughts & feelings. It is a minute-by-minute sense of awareness that is often overlooked, ignored & unnoticed. It is the idea of stopping to smell the roses! Additionally, mindfulness is a form of acceptance. Acceptance of our current thoughts & feelings in a judgement free, unbiased zone. We are usually so quick to judge our thoughts & feelings in a way that can be harmful, therefore mindfulness encourages us to be kinder & more accepting of ourselves.
The rise of social media has been one of the greatest changes our culture has seen over the last two decades. What began as a niche activity for younger generations has become a worldwide phenomenon for everyone of all ages, genders and backgrounds. Social media has allowed us to talk to and engage with friends and family across the globe with ease, access professional services from our homes, receive news and information with the click of a button, and engage in our hobbies and interests anytime and anywhere. However, as social media use continues to become more and more prevalent, and many users find themselves using social media more frequently, many people have found themselves experiencing harmful consequences as a result.
The word “no” is just two letters but can feel so intimidating and off putting to say to others. To some, this can be one of the most difficult words to udder. Despite the want to say “no” to another person, the words “yes, absolutely” or “no problem” can come in its place. Next thing you know, you are committed to a task or an event that you did not want to complete or attend. Saying “no” is an important skill to acquire and practice in order to begin prioritizing your own mental health and emotional needs.
In the mental health field, we focus on ways in which we can feel better by learning effective coping skills to alleviate mental distress. Often enough, we don’t take into consideration how the food we eat impacts not only our physical health, but also our mental wellbeing. Therefore the question is, does our diet affect how we feel emotionally? The answer is an astounding YES!!!
Diet culture can be harmful and put you at risk for developing an eating disorder or form disordered eating habits. Diet culture is a pervasive belief that appearance and body shape are more important than physical, psychological, and general well-being. It is more of an idea that if you can control your body, and more importantly your diet, this is normal. Diet’s emphasize limiting what and how much you eat, it can lead you to count calories or choose low fat and low carb options. You can develop more attention towards weighing yourself frequently and if you don’t reach your weight loss goals or gain weight, this can negatively impact your mood and motivation. Diet culture normalizes labeling food as good or bad and thinking it is more of a transaction. This means, you either earn it or don’t deserve it depending on how much you have exercised or how you have eaten that day or week so far. Beyond this, it can extend to labeling yourself as good or bad for eating some of these foods.
