As you go through life, it’s important to fully understand what makes up a healthy relationship. This is something that is not taught in schools & is usually learned through trial & error based on previous experiences. Personal relationships will develop within families, friends, colleagues & acquaintances. The shared experience of living, working & spending time together with similar interests is what creates emotional bonds, interactions & trusting relationships.
Validating your partner is a skill that is essential to establishing and maintaining intimacy. When you validate your partner, you are letting them know that you see how they are feeling, their feelings are important to you, and you are giving reassurance that they feel that way. Everyone has a different experience, and those in distress may experience painful feelings for different reasons. What is hurtful for one partner may not be the same for another. Validating your partner is not the same as being in agreement, you can still disagree and validate.
Infidelity in marriages has been a topic of interest for many years, with many studies conducted on the topic. Recently, with divorce rates being what they are in the United States, there has been an increase in the amount of research focused on understanding the causes and effects of infidelity as well as possible ways of minimizing the probability of it occurring.
On social media or in conversation, the term “relationship goals” has gained popularity as a term used in response to an example of a relationship that one feels represents the desired relationship in their life. In couple’s therapy, goals are crucial to establish and continue to interact with and update throughout the process to help keep the treatment focused and productive for the couple. Being able to develop genuine and wise-minded goals is more challenging than you think.
There are many ways that people strive to conceptualize their relationships and that of others around them. It is hard to apply a framework to something so complex, so what is being offered in this blog post is not a full framework but rather a device to use to help side-step being defensive, reduce co-dependency, and increase your commitment to your personal values while in the context of a relationship.
If you are trying to cope with a divorce, you may experience a grieving process. Know this is normal and that there are several things you can do in order to cope with difficult feelings. Divorces can be exhausting, overwhelming, and full of negative emotions. You may experience feelings of depression, anxiety, and/or stress. Know that these feelings are valid. While you navigate through this grieving process, you may go through cycles of feelings. It is important amidst this to enjoy all the things you previously loved doing and make space for you and what brings you joy.
Trust in a relationship, whether it is a romantic relationship or a relationship with a friend or family, is one of the most important building blocks for a close, healthy relationship. It is also unfortunate how easy it is to lose trust, and how challenging it can be to rebuild. To rebuild trust you need time, patience, and hard work; and it is possible if both people are motivated.
Love can have a language of its own, from the way we show love to the way we like to receive love. It is important to be in tune with how you prefer to be loved by others, this can make it easier to understand what it is we are looking for from others. It is also important to understand how your partner likes to receive love because this can make it easier to make them feel appreciated in their own way. In 1992 Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book “The 5 Love Languages” which can help to work as a guide, noting five areas that are most prominent ways that individuals show and receive love. Take a minute to reflect on how you feel appreciated or loved by others, now look at the following descriptions of the five love languages to see where you align!
It is never easy when a friendship ends. It could have happened one of two ways, either you were the one to end it, or your former friend decided to. And it was likely due to so many reasons, either the friendship was toxic, codependent, a significant event, the relationship just drifted apart, etc. Romantic breakups are more talked about than friendship breakups, but they happen to everyone, and they can hurt just as bad.
An individual’s attachment style is their way to relate to other people. According to attachment theory, developed by a psychologist and psychiatrist in the 1950s, attachment style is developed in early childhood in response to their relationship with their caregiver(s). Our adult attachment style has been shown to mirror the early relationship we had with that caregiver. Attachment styles include the way we emotionally respond to others. The four adult attachment styles are: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant (disorganized).
Intimacy is a cornerstone of any close relationship. This intimacy can come from many different parts of a relationship and look very different from one another, but they all have one thing in common; trust and vulnerability. Whether this relationship is between you and your parents, best friend, or romantic partner, if it is a close relationship then they know the real you and you trust them not to hurt you with that information. It is here that we let our walls down that would otherwise be up with other people. Having your walls down is the vulnerable state that makes these relationships so strong and meaningful. There are many myths and misconceptions about intimacy that regularly affects the quality of a relationship.
In a relationship, whether this is a romantic relationship or another close relationship, there are a few things we, as humans, typically respond to more desirably. There are also things to which we tend to respond undesirably. Some examples of things that we respond more desirably to would include: validation, communication, loyalty, and trust. Consequently, the absence of some of or all these things can lead to what John Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999) referred to as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” for a relationship. These “four horsemen” include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. One of the most destructive of these is Contempt.
When you show affection to your significant other, do you know if it's the way that they like to receive it? Love can get lost in translation when two people have different types of love languages. The five love languages are different ways of expressing and receiving love. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these styles of communicating love.
In a committed relationship, whether this is a romantic relationship or another close and intimate relationship, there are a few things that as humans, we typically respond more desirably to for the purposes of having an effective relationship. There are also things to which we respond undesirably. Some examples of things that we respond more desirably to would be validation, communication, loyalty, and trust. Consequently, the absence of some of or all these things can lead to what John Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999) referred to as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” for a relationship. These “four horsemen” include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. One of the most destructive of these is Contempt. . However, there are safeguards that can be put in place to help protect yourself from this particular “horseman”.
Being in a relationship with someone who has a trauma history can be uniquely challenging at times. In many cases, individuals who experience trauma may behave in ways that are hard for their partner to understand. They may experience panic attacks, express distrust, escalate quickly to anger, or become disengaged. As trauma can interrupt emotional processing, those who have experienced trauma often struggle to articulate what is really going on inside of them. This can cause conflict and miscommunication, and it can make it difficult for well-intended partners to know what kind of support to provide. If this sounds a bit like your experience, not to fear! There are ways to become a trauma-informed and compassionate partner while also maintaining your own boundaries and safety within your relationship.
Getting a text or call from a friend, family member, or romantic partner with the words, “We have to talk”, always evokes a bit of anxiety. Whether you’re the one delivering this statement or receiving it, we all definitely don’t enjoy this phrase and what often follows. Are there ways to talk without having to use this phrase? Absolutely. This post aims to provide you with a way to communicate with others, never having to use this statement.
With so many ways to communicate whether in-person, phone, or the many social media apps we can access 24/7, introverts are often viewed as odd for their lack of expressing an opinion whether with friends or in a meeting. Introverts are often described as individuals who do not like prolonged social interactions and may feel uncomfortable in large social gatherings. Introverts don’t mind remaining isolated for extended periods, however this gives them time to engage in thinking and dreaming!
Sometimes we need to revamp our relationships. All of us can think of times we need a refresh whether this be of goals, experiences, the clothes in our closet, or our beliefs, and the same rings true for our relationships. We grow and change in and out of relationships and there is no rule that you have to stay the same if you are in one. It is healthy and positive to grow and change yourself and within your relationship.
Social distancing has become crucial in order to prevent the spread of the new coronavirus. However, this can feel lonely and isolating, especially if you typically are on your own whether in your work life or personal life. For many, connecting via social media has become the new norm. Whether being on your own is something you are used to or not, the differences at present are valid and can take a toll on anyone.
It remains uncertain how long this pandemic will last or the true impact it will have. Additionally, we still know little about the virus itself and how it impacts our daily lives moving forward. We still need to figure out what concerns we should have, as there are so many unknowns. However, what we do know right now is that everyone is impacted by this pandemic. Thus, it is time for us all to come together for a common goal, and utilize positive coping strategies to work through the present moment and any negative feelings that arise. This notion also gives comfort as we know we are not alone, we are all experiencing this.
