Infidelity in marriages has been a topic of interest for many years, with many studies conducted on the topic. Recently, with divorce rates being what they are in the United States, there has been an increase in the amount of research focused on understanding the causes and effects of infidelity as well as possible ways of minimizing the probability of it occurring.

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) reported in July of 2016 that about 15% of women and 25% of men report having had sexual intercourse with someone outside of their monogamous long-term relationship.  This number increases by 20% when including sexual or intimate acts without intercourse.  The majority of these individuals who were no longer with their long-term partner reported that the infidelity was a major contributing factor to their eventual divorce.

One of the primary reasons for infidelity in marriages tends to be a lack of emotional connection and/or emotional safety between partners. Many couples in therapy following an infidelity report feeling neglected or pushed away by their spouse for months or often years prior to the infidelity.  This lack of emotional connection is surprisingly much more common of a complaint with these couples than just sexual dissatisfaction.

In addition to a reported lack of connection or closeness in a relationship, one more obvious factor that can increase the likelihood of an infidelity is a lack of communication between partners. When couples are not able to openly discuss their needs and desires in a safe and judgement-free way, they may be more likely to seek this connection outside of the relationship.

There are several other factors that interact with the likelihood of infidelity like cultural norms, history of infidelity, or struggles with commitment.

So, what can couples do to prevent infidelity? One key step is to prioritize free and open communication. This means regularly checking in with each other and discussing any concerns or issues that may arise. Additionally, couples should make an effort to maintain a strong and safe emotional connection in their relationship.  This can be done an many ways like spending quality time together or learning how to support each other effectively but a lot of couples struggle with their own shame or other barriers when it comes to being emotionally close with someone.

Overall, infidelity is a complex issue that can have serious consequences for relationships and families. By prioritizing open communication and maintaining a strong emotional connection, couples can build on their strengths and avoid the struggles related to infidelity. 

If you and your partner are struggling with connection, communication, or are recovering from an infidelity, call or go online and ask about scheduling a couple’s therapy session.