Picture this: it is a Saturday morning, and your child has a soccer game. You spend the morning rushing to make sure your child eats breakfast, puts on their clean uniform, and has a bag packed of necessary items. As you are pouring your coffee in a thermos before you run out the door, your child gets comfortable on the couch and turns on the television. You remind your child as you approach the door, “we are getting ready to leave, turn the TV off, and let’s go!”. Your child, who is zoned into their favorite show, does not listen, and continues to watch the TV. Frustration sets in and all patience disappears as you are looking at the clock and opening the door, “Bye! I’m leaving without you!”. Those simple five words then causes your child to begin crying and screaming, a full-on meltdown. The frustration grows bigger, and a fight begins, causing you to then be late for the soccer game (which you were trying to avoid happening). The result: you are agitated, your child is upset, and now you are late. Many have been in this position, when you express to your child that you are leaving without them. While this expression may come out of frustration, it can be considered a fear tactic which may invoke long term stress or fear of abandonment within your child. It is important to avoid invoking this fear because it could foster mental health and emotional difficulties. Getting your child ready to leave the house can become a positive experience to foster the growth of time management and responsibility by making a few changes to that morning routine.

1.     Make your child aware of time constraints: Upon waking your child up in the morning let them know what the day’s plan and timing should consist of. This can be done with an expression such as: “Good morning! It is 8:00AM and we need to leave the house at 10:00AM. We have two hours to get ready!”. This provides your child with increased awareness of timing for the morning.

2.      Include your child in the day’s preparation: Include your child help you prepare for the day, rather than packing their bag or filling up their water alone, allow them to assist in the process. Developmentally speaking, this can be fun by making it a scavenger hunt. For example: “We need to get the big blue bag that you bring to soccer, can you bring that to me?”, “Great! Now you need to go find the soccer ball and put it in this bag!”. Although it may feel more efficient to pack the bag yourself, this provides your child with an increased sense of responsibility and inclusion in the getting ready process.

3.     Five-minute option: Plan to be ready with five minutes to spare prior to walking out the door. In these five-minutes, provide your child with an explicit five-minute warning and give them an option to engage in a task of their choosing to provide calm down time prior to leaving the house. This gives them an increased understanding of timing along with fostering short periods of relaxation. This can sound something like, “Okay, we have five minutes before we leave the house. In those five minutes would you like to watch TV, read a book, or wait outside. After those five minutes are done, we must leave”.

4.     Give them an option for the car: Leaving the house may still feel difficult for your child despite the ongoing prompting so it is important to continue to let them feel included. This inclusion can be done by giving them an option for what they would like to do in the car (ie: what radio station they would like to listen to, what game they would like to play on the tablet, what they would like to talk about, etc.). This makes the car ride seem exciting and more enticing to leave the house.

Routines are tough. Parenting is too. Click here for additional support.