It is common to feel nervous during social situations, but if you have social anxiety, everyday activities can be challenging.  You may feel self-conscious and struggle with self-esteem.  There are several ways to cope with social anxiety.  Here are some tips to help you feel better and manage the day. 

1. Breathing techniques: Anxiety can cause changes in your body and in your breathing. Your breathing can become fast and shallow, which can cause your anxiety to become worse. There is a technique called “box breathing” where you inhale as much as you can for 4-seconds, hold your breath for 4-seconds, then exhale through puckered lips for 4-seoncs, and lastly hold your breath for 4-seconds. Repeat 5-10 times.

2. Physical activity or Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Physical activities like jogging, can help lower your anxiety. Progressive muscle relaxation can help as well. This means flexing and releasing parts of your body and keeping your focus on feeling the release.

3. Prepare: Plan ahead for social situations that normally make you feel nervous can help you feel more confident. For example, if you are going on a first date and you are afraid of not having much in common, try researching topics to talk about. If you are going to a party, do some relaxation/breathing exercises to calm yourself before leaving the house.

4. Start small: Don’t jump into all social situations at once. Schedule a restaurant meal with friends or family to get used to eating in public. Challenge yourself by making eye contact and saying “hello” to people on the street or grocery store. You can build up to bigger activities once you become more comfortable. Remember to be patient with yourself, it will take time to overcome social anxiety.

5. Shift the focus: Try shifting your focus to what is happening around you, instead of staying in your head. Focus on listening to the conversation that is happening at the moment. You can also remind yourself that most of the time, people can’t tell you’re feeling anxious just by looking at your.

6. Challenge negative thoughts: These thoughts can be about people or a situation. Most of the time, they are incorrect. They can cause you to misread situations or facial expressions. This can lead you to assume people are thinking things about you that they aren’t. If you are having a negative thought, reframe it in a positive way or seek evidence that goes against that negative thought.

7. Use your senses: Vision, hearing, smell, touch, and taste can help calm you down in the moment. For some, looking at a photograph or smelling a certain scent can help soothe the anxiety. If you are feeling anxious, try listening to your favorite song, chewing mint gum, or cuddling with a pet.

For additional assistance in coping with social anxiety, click here.