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Valuing Your Values

This may seem like a silly title.  How can a person do anything but value what they identify as valuable to themselves?  It is true that many people make time, and commit energy, to the things they hold in the highest regard such as family, relationships, success, education, etc.  However, like so many things, this can become an unconscious endeavor and your values can easily fall away from your focus as you find yourself building different routines. If one is neglecting their values, they may be unconsciously reinforcing depression, anxiety, grief, or anger.  So how do we interact with our values in such a way that our lives and goals feel effective and meaningful? 

Assessing values is a part of multiple therapy models including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).  ACT uses a tool known as the Valued Living Questionnaire (Wilson, K. G. & Groom, J. (2002)).  This tool lists a set of commonly-held values such as family, intimate relationships, parenting, and work.  The tool also asks individuals to rate each of the mentioned values on an importance scale of 1 to 10.  Then the tool goes on to ask one to assess the same values on a scale of 1-10 again, however this time ranking the degree to which one is currently living their life in accordance with each value.

This tool uses a list of only 10 commonly-held values.  Though many people would benefit greatly from staying mindful of these values, it is true that this list of values can be virtually endless and look very different for different people.  These facts notwithstanding, the core purpose of this tool is to build mindfulness of one’s values.

This tool can be found online, and can be used as a means of helping one stay mindful of their values, their ranking of importance to each individual, and, perhaps most importantly, whether or not one is representing these values in their daily choices and behaviors. The essence of this tool can also exist as a mindfulness practice that one can do virtually anytime and anywhere.  The steps for this may include the following:

  • Stop and take the next 5-10 minutes for this exercise.

  • Allow yourself to be in a calm and neutral place, and position yourself comfortably.

  • Reflect on what you value the most.  You may ask yourself- “what in my life would I never wish to be without?” and/or “if I had absolute freedom from all commitment and responsibility, what would I still wish to pursue and commit myself to in my life?”

  • Remain mindful of higher-ranking values and whether or not you may be sacrificing them for a lower-ranking value.

  • Reflect on how these values may be more effectively represented today (or in the near future) through your actions.

  • Re-engage in your life mindfully and in accordance with your values as you understand them at this point in your life.

One’s values can shift and morph as one has more and more experiences so practicing overall mindfulness of your values regularly would be most effective.  For example, completing the tool mentioned above (or one that you develop and update with what you know to be your values) every 3-6 months (or more often if life changes are occurring) would help build value-driven habits and goals.  Take some time today and practice being mindful of your values and how they are represented in your life now.


For further support around identifying your values and instilling these in the choices you make for yourself, click here.