An individual’s attachment style is their way to relate to other people.  According to attachment theory, developed by a psychologist and psychiatrist in the 1950s, attachment style is developed in early childhood in response to their relationship with their caregiver(s).  Our adult attachment style has been shown to mirror the early relationship we had with that caregiver.  Attachment styles include the way we emotionally respond to others.  The four adult attachment styles are: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant (disorganized).  

Secure Attachment:

This attachment style means this person has the ability to form secure and loving relationships with others.  This secure person can trust others and be trusted, love and accept love, and with ease can get close to others.  This person is not afraid of intimacy.  They do not experience fear when their partner needs time separately from them.  Without being too dependent, this person can also depend on others.  

Anxious Attachment:

This is a form of insecure attachment style with a deep fear of abandonment.  Anxiously attached adults tend to be insecure about their relationships and need consistent validation from their partner, in fear that they will leave them.  This attachment style is associated with neediness and/or clingy behavior.  

Avoidant Attachment:

This style is marked by the fear of intimacy.  Those with avoidant attachment style tend to have difficulties getting close to others and/or trusting others in relationships, and at times relationships can cause a feeling of being suffocated or overwhelmed.  Some other characteristics to look out for are maintaining distance from their partner, being emotionally unavailable, prefer to be independent and rely on themselves.  

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment:

This style is a combination of both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles.  Those with this attachment style crave affection and want to avoid it at the same time.  They are reluctant to develop a close romantic relationship, and at the same time, they have a need to feel loved by others.  

Can our attachment style change? Absolutely.  If you are looking to change or address your attachment style it takes time, patience, and intention.  Knowing your attachment style can be helpful to build insight, awareness, and understanding of your relationship patterns.  Seeking more support in understanding your attachment style and ways to manage this? Click here.