When the concept of personality is mentioned, many people think of someone’s sense of humor or their general affect or their personal style, but in the field of psychology personality has a particular definition. This definition is according to the American Psychological Association (https://www.apa.org/topics/personality, 2022):

“Personality refers to individual differences in characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving.”

In the field of psychology these characteristic patterns can also be referred to as traits. For our purposes, we will also be using the term “traits” to refer to the elements of personality.  A few examples of common personality traits would be being sociable or having patterns that promote effective social functioning, being assertive or having patterns that communicate what it is you want and your goals in fairly obtaining it, or being cynical or having patterns that promote one’s own interests without trusting others.  These examples exhibit different traits, or patterns, that we may be able to recognize in the people we know, or perhaps in ourselves, but only represent a few examples of what part of what a personality can be.  It is here that our discussion can take a natural turn and ask the question; “what makes some personalities ‘better’ than others?” 

Firstly, a personality is only “better” if it is more effective at a particular goal.  A slightly narcissistic personality is very effective for creating a million-dollar business but is ineffective in many relationships.  Therefore, we will use the word effective instead of “better” because it depends on what goals the personality traits are being utilized to achieve.  Secondly, one’s life has many different domains (i.e. family, friends, work, hobbies/interests) and each can come with its own set of goals for one’s personality. This would mean that a fully formed and effective personality will require traits that are effective in each of their life domains. It is when one’s personality is ineffective in several or many life domains that they begin to meet the criteria for a Personality Disorder.  These types of disorders are very common and typically, on their own, do not stop people from functioning in society.

One’s personality develops over time and through different experiences of life. These experiences can include break ups, moving, trying new activities, or starting a new job.  These types of experiences require psychological flexibility in order to develop the traits that work or are effective with the goals in each of these types of contexts. These traits can include things like compassion, tenacity, patience, resiliency, etc. and it is here that we can begin to recognize that people with fully formed personalities tend to have the traits needed to be effective in each of their domains of life.  Developing who you are regarding your personality is a lifelong endeavor and if you struggle with feeling as if you do not have the traits that are effective for your life, feel free to speak with a trusted support who may be able to help build these skills for the goals you would want for yourself.

For support around building up your strengths within your personality, click here.