If you are trying to cope with a divorce, you may experience a grieving process. Know this is normal and that there are several things you can do in order to cope with difficult feelings.  Divorces can be exhausting, overwhelming, and full of negative emotions.  You may experience feelings of depression, anxiety, and/or stress.  Know that these feelings are valid. While you navigate through this grieving process, you may go through cycles of feelings. It is important amidst this to enjoy all the things you previously loved doing and make space for you and what brings you joy.

• Be kind to yourself: If you are feeling guilt or shame about your marriage ending, along with other feelings such as sadness around previous memories or anxiety of the future, know this is normal and part of the grieving process.  These are common feelings, and know you are not alone. Forgiving yourself may help you release feelings along with self-validation and self-compassion for your experiences.

• Lean on your support system: Going through a divorce is taxing emotionally and it’s okay to lean on friends and family.  It may feel challenging at first to make the effort to spend time with others, but this will allow for space to reduce overthinking, and others to comfort you and find ways to bring joy into your time together.  Reach out to friends and make plans, or rekindle old friendships.  Support groups are also a great place to contact others who understand what you are going through.

• Engage in self-care:  Self-care is always important, but when you're going through a divorce, it is even more necessary.  Taking the time to do things you love can make such a big difference, even if that’s taking a break and doing nothing.  The best part about self-care is it can be anything you need it to be.  It can range from treating yourself to a massage or a little pampering, to going for a walk outside, meeting a friend for coffee, getting out for an afternoon drive, and/or making time for exercise you enjoy.

• Discover your hobbies and interests: Keeping yourself busy can be helpful.  You may find that the more downtime you have, the more negative emotions you may feel.  You can use this time to branch out and discover new interests or get back into old hobbies.  These activities can help you from dwelling on negative and/or challenging moments.

• Self-reflect: Self-reflection is a good thing.  Anytime you find yourself going through a tough life event or change, it is worth it to focus on the positive and negative aspects of your experience.  You can use these questions for guidance:

  • What was your role in the relationship?

  • In what ways can you grow from this?

  • What did you learn about yourself and your relationship?

  • Do you have any regrets? If so, what can you do differently?

  • Do you need to apologize?

  • Are you holding onto any resentments? If so, how can we let go of it?

Need more support on this journey? We’re here for you. Click here for further support on this journey into a new cycle of your life.