Coping skills are a set of behaviors or actions that have positive benefits to one’s mental health. They can be used in situations to help alleviate any difficult emotions (ie: anger, sadness, anxiety, etc.) or they can be used daily to assist in maintaining a positive mood.

The unique thing about coping skills is that they are different for everyone! Where one skill may be helpful for you, it may be something that does not work for someone else. It may take trial and error of varied coping skills to see what is unique to helping you. Try out different hobbies or interests to see if they are helpful in alleviating those difficult emotions, commonly these hobbies/interests can also work as coping skills. Additionally, try out coping skills that you may be skeptical about because they could surprise you in a positive way. As time goes on and you begin to learn more about yourself, it can become easier to recognize the coping skills that help you to manage these difficult emotions best.

Another important factor to take into consideration when developing and understanding your coping skills is that they may not work every time, but that is okay! Sometimes emotions can feel very difficult, and a particular coping skill may not work that day, however that does not mean that it will not work ever again. One way to refer to this set of coping skills would be a “coping toolbox”. When you are working on fixing something there are many different tools that could help, but only some that may be needed in the moment- oftentimes, these tools are kept in a toolbox. Coping skills can be looked at the same, a toolbox filled with various ways to help better manage or control difficult emotions.

One common misconception is that all coping skills are healthy. If something makes us feel better, it must be good right? However, this is not always the case. There are coping skills that can be categorized as unhealthy in nature. Unhealthy coping strategies can provide a short-term relief of emotions and feel good in the moment but may result in long-term negative effects. These unhealthy coping mechanisms can be damaging to relationships, overall well-being, and potentially create a form of addiction.

Now take the time to think about what helps you feel better, both on good days and bad. Create a list either mentally or physically to begin making your own coping skills toolbox! If you are feeling stuck, the following lists can be a helpful jumpstart on where or where not to begin.

The following are some examples of healthy coping skills:

• Deep breathing

• Exercising

• Talking with friends or family

• Journaling

• Meditation

• Reading a book

• Drawing and/or coloring

• Going to therapy

• Engaging in a problem-solving discussion

• Listening to music

• Spending time with a pet

The following are some examples of unhealthy coping skills:

• Drinking alcohol

• Drug use

• Binge eating or restricting food

• Socially isolating

• Self-harm

• Sleeping either too much or too little

• Spending excessive amounts of money or going on a shopping spree

• Risk-taking

• Smoking cigarettes or vaping nicotine

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