Most people are familiar with the standardized assessment and scoring to assess intelligence- IQ (intelligence quotient), but oftentimes the topic of emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient) is overlooked. It can be helpful to learn and implement skills that assist in understanding and increasing emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand, communicate, and manage emotions in a healthy, effective way. Emotional intelligence describes the knowledge that you have of yourself and your emotional reactions. This also refers to the ability to understand others’ emotions.

Why is emotional intelligence important? Emotional intelligence can assist in forming stronger bonds with others by effective communication, increase your overall mental health, and help to excel in academic/work performance. Emotional intelligence works as a guide for managing your feelings and thoughts. This helps in building resilience to help make stressful situations seem easier to manage and navigate.

How to increase emotional intelligence?

1. Increasing self-awareness: Begin to pay attention to how you experience emotions during situations and experiences. Take note of how different circumstances impact your overall mood and begin to question if there are any patterns that have been formed. Noticing the way your emotions and thoughts occur in these different situations allows you to have a better understanding of triggers and stressors. Additionally, take the time to be aware of how your emotions impact others; this can be a helpful component in better understanding your emotional reactions to situations. Sometimes, writing in a journal can be helpful in this emotional exploration as it provides a concrete space to self-reflect, express feelings, and look for any potential emotional patterns. Having this awareness allows you to make changes that you may have not even known were needed.  

2. Self-regulation: Self-regulation comes into play once you experience the increased self-awareness. Once you begin to take note of your emotions and reactions to situations, the next step is to learn how to better regulate any strong emotions and impulses. This can be done through further exploring calming skills, engagement in therapy, or taking the time to respond to situations rather than react.

3. Respond to situations rather than react: Reacting to a situation brings up initial emotions which can be expressed harshly or aggressively. Whereas responding to a situation allows time to process the emotions and how to express them in a healthy manner with others. When you feel difficult emotions in a situation take the time to pause, breath, and think about what you are going to say and/or do to respond.

4. Social awareness: Begin to pay attention to those around you and the emotions that they may be experiencing. Becoming in tune with how others experience and express their emotions can be helpful in creating those stronger bonds along with having an increased understanding of how to support others. Take note on emotional cues and the needs of those around you. Having a social awareness allows you to increase your own emotional intelligence in the way you operate in your relationships.

For more support around understanding and developing emotional intelligence, click here.