Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, is a model of therapy that emphasizes skills-based interventions to help develop coping strategies and effectively manage moods. Sacred Self is one of the skills taught through DBT.  This skill is a powerful tool for mindfulness, self-validation, and self-love.  As we break down this skill, please try and envision what this would look like in your life.

The first step in building our Sacred Self is to commit to being soft and compassionate with ourselves. This typically can be understood by comparing your inner dialogue with how you treat a close friend or loved one.  If you notice a stark difference between how your voice is with yourself compared to someone else, then increasing your patience and consideration for yourself would be what the Sacred Self skill would call for.  I have not yet found any reason to treat ourselves any differently than any other person we respect.

The second technique for the Sacred Self skill is to balance your self-image.  This means regularly identifying 5 things that are positive about yourself.  This can help build a more balanced perception of yourself while also helping you to fully feel joy and gratitude when the facts warrant them. Making this a mental practice can help with multiple mental health challenges including low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and lack of motivation to name a few.

The third technique is to create a kind environment.  This will involve managing the spaces in which you spend the most time and that are closely linked to you such as your room, house, or office, and committing to making the space express who you are.  This can mean changing the color, hanging art or décor that you personally love, displaying pictures of loved ones, or whatever you can reasonably do to help the space represent your identity.   This helps demonstrate a daily commitment to your own quality of life and self-expression.

The fourth step is Radical Self-Acceptance.  This is a version of the Radical Acceptance skill from DBT except that it is intended for what is true about you.  This skill includes you observing all the facts about you including your strengths and successes as well as your weaknesses and mistakes and practicing fully accepting them.  In this skill, as in traditional Radical Acceptance, acceptance does not mean approval or yielding to, but rather a decision to not go against or “fight” these facts about you.  The goal is to see ourselves as we truly are without judgment or dissatisfaction.  This allows you to interact with your life with a strong and grounded sense of self.

The fifth technique is a culminating version of all the other skills.  This skill is referred to as Deeply Liking Yourself.  This technique is mostly what it sounds like which is a deep appreciation of who you are and allowing this to exist and be expressed openly and regularly.  Your most important relationship is that with yourself so practicing thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that show a commitment to deeply liking yourself makes this self-relationship strong and fulfilling.  An example of a thought one may have for this technique would be “I am happy that I committed myself to have fun today”.

Sacred Self has its roots in eastern mindfulness practices and in the idea of interacting with the self.  Many people with mental health struggles, as well as those without, still find themselves often neglecting or misperceiving themselves.  This skill is meant to help ground one’s sense of self in the facts and with a fair assessment that we would offer anyone else we respected. 

If you struggle with experiencing a balanced view of yourself, try implementing some of the skills above, and feel free to reach out to the Modern Therapy office to talk to someone about making an appointment with a therapist.