Questions to Ask Yourself
Do I trust my partner unconditionally?
When you’re entering into a serious relationship, you should trust your partner fully and be able to talk to him or her about anything. If you have doubts about whether or not your significant other is trustworthy, reliable, or deceptive, that’s something that should be discussed upfront.
Do I know myself?
Knowing yourself is so important when it comes to relationships. Before you make a strong commitment to someone else, make sure that you’ve made a commitment to understanding yourself. This includes being comfortable in your own shoes and having a level of self awareness that can bring stability to a partnership.
Am I ready to commit?
Serious relationships take substantial time and energy. Make sure you have your own life in order before you throw another human beings into the mix. For example, getting into another serious relationship immediately after your last one has ended is a situation that may end up back firing. Make sure you’re entering a new relationship for the right reasons and keep the other person’s feelings in mind!
Questions to Ask Your Partner
What do you stand for?
Now is not the time to swerve talking about topics like money, politics, or religion. While you don’t have to perfectly align with all of your partner’s beliefs, understanding the core values of your partner and respecting them is something you should do before making a commitment.
What are your Short and Long Term Goals?
Your partner’s goals will absolutely change over time, but both of you should have some ideas about what you’re looking for out of life in the near and long term. If your partner’s goals are completely different than your own, that might be a red flag to consider.
Is there anything I should know about?
Solid relationships are transparent. Before committing, both of you should have a discussion about anything the other should know about the past. If you or your partner have a checkered history, outstanding debt, or health problems - now is the time to bring it up. As much as you may want to ignore potential problems, it’s unlikely they will just disappear. By addressing issues upfront, you avoid the chance of them causing serious problems in the future.
Let Someone Else Ask
These are tough questions. Having a professional couples counselor guide you through these conversations can ensure the discussion is navigated tactfully and help prepare your relationship for a stable future. While it may not be your first thought to see a therapist for your relationship when things are going great, it’s important to remember that therapy isn’t only useful when things are going bad. Sometimes it’s just a good idea to get a different perspective.
In fact, couples that go to counseling together learn how to communicate better, develop a better understanding of each others needs, and prepare for how to deal with issues when they arise. Therapy is a neutral space, physical or virtual, you can talk openly about the expectations you have for your committed relationship and what you want from it.