Imagine this, you have to do some form of public speaking, or you are driving and the car in front of you stops short, or you are out for a walk and a strange animal jumps out in front of you. What would you do? Flight or fight are the body’s natural way to response to stressful, scary, or dangerous situations. After extensive data collection, researchers now acknowledge that there are other automatic responses in addition to flight or fight and they are freeze and fawn.

In a relationship, whether this is a romantic relationship or another close relationship, there are a few things we, as humans, typically respond to more desirably. There are also things to which we tend to respond undesirably. Some examples of things that we respond more desirably to would include: validation, communication, loyalty, and trust. Consequently, the absence of some of or all these things can lead to what John Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999) referred to as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” for a relationship. These “four horsemen” include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. One of the most destructive of these is Contempt.

We hear the term self-care often. With many stressors in our personal lives and around the world, impacting all of us, the idea of self-care is even more prominent as the world changes and shifts. You have probably heard about many strategies to cope, such as: taking a walk, taking a nap, writing down positive thoughts and others. Let’s explore additional self-care strategies you might try.

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is based on a dialectical module which helps one to find the middle path or gray thinking with cognition and behaviors. When you think in a “all or nothing” way, you take on unnecessary stress and tension in life. DBT helps you think in terms of “all or at least something”.

Have you been feeling exhausted most days? Even when you’ve gotten enough sleep? This is because sleep and rest are different, and it is common to confuse the two. You suffer from a rest deficit if you don’t consider the other forms of needed rest. Rest should result in feeling restored and energized. Let’s explore the different forms of rest that you might try.

When you show affection to your significant other, do you know if it’s the way that they like to receive it? Love can get lost in translation when two people have different types of love languages. The five love languages are different ways of expressing and receiving love. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these styles of communicating love.

New Years resolutions are part of celebrating the new years for some people. Making a list of goals and a plan to start on the 1st or the first Monday after the New Years is the usual norm. Rather than making a list of new goals this year, how about trying a different way to contemplate your goals and having a way to gauge your goals?

Grapes are nutritious and delicious, however we are referring to the acronym G.R.A.P.E.S. commonly used to address and combat depression. Symptoms of depression often include having feelings of sadness, even hopelessness, and lack of motivation. During times of depression, it can be helpful to follow these guidelines with the help of the following acronym, and to practice these regularly to reduce the possibility of experiencing depressive symptoms.

During a therapy session you have the space to talk about your emotions and stressors, confront your problems, and be provided with helpful feedback to support positive changes. The time spent in a therapy session can feel empowering, but this is only a small portion of your week. There are 168 hours in a week, less than one of those hours are spent in therapy. A common misconception is that attending your weekly therapy sessions is all that is needed, but the time in between therapy sessions also holds an important space to continue to progress. So the real question is, what do you do in the time in between therapy sessions? While there is not an exact science or formula that is guaranteed to work, the following are helpful tips and ideas to help you in between sessions.

Symptoms of anxiety consist of both physical and mental symptoms, which oftentimes can feel incredibly overwhelming and difficult to manage in the moment. While there are many different techniques and tricks to combat these symptoms, a helpful group of skills fall under grounding techniques. Grounding techniques work to bring awareness to the present moment and what is happening in the world around you. These help to distract from anxious thoughts and symptoms. In bringing awareness to the present moment, it can provide feelings of safety and create a space between you and your feelings of anxiety. Grounding techniques can include both physical and mental techniques to provide distractions. The following are examples of grounding techniques that you can begin to use and practice.