Negative, unhealthy, and intrusive thoughts are usually automatic, but they don’t have to take control of your daily life. With some tips, you can learn to tolerate that inner critic.
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The 2-column Technique: Pull out a piece of paper and create two columns. On the left column, write all of your negative thoughts. Don’t overthink them, just write them down. On the right solemn, write down at least one to three counter arguments. This technique can help you get some distance from the negative mindset.
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New Evidence: Negative thoughts come from a collection of evidence in our mind. We’ve learned important things about the world and ourselves by experience. If you find yourself believing that your negative thoughts are true, it’s time to find new evidence. You can practice this by setting an alarm for the same time everyday. Once the alarm goes off, name five things that you appreciate about yourself and/or the things you’ve accomplished.
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Self-compassion: If you would like a positive relationship with yourself, you need to practice self-compassion. Try taking a step back by recognizing that your inner critic is trying to keep you safe by warning you of danger, instead of beating yourself up about it. The next time you catch yourself being critical, try showing compassion to your inner critic, thanking it for its efforts in trying to keep you safe.
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Socratic Questions: When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, try asking yourself one of these questions; “Would I say this out loud to someone else?”, “Would I say this to a child?”, “Would I let someone speak to me that way?”
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Self-acceptance: With your negative thoughts, you may feel bad for even having these types of thoughts. This creates resistance to your current experience, which can make your suffering worse. If you notice a negative thought arise, acknowledge it. Pause, then try your best to push it away. This doesn’t mean internalize the thought, but have it leave your mind by journaling, writing it on a piece of paper, ripping it, crumbling it, and throwing it away. You won’t always have the motivation or energy to challenge these thoughts and that is okay too.
These tips can be implemented in your day to day. If you continue to struggle with negative thoughts and are in distress you can always reach out and seek therapy, in order for a professional to assist you. Click here for more information.
