Many of us can acknowledge the value and importance of self-worth. Higher our self-esteem, we feel better about ourselves and are more resilient. When your self-esteem is higher, you are also less vulnerable to anxiety and stress. Even though it is great to have higher self-esteem, improving our self-esteem is no easy task.

Part of the issue is that our self-esteem is unstable, to begin with, or often fluctuates.  Our self-esteem comprises both our global feelings about ourselves and how we feel about ourselves in the roles we take in our lives (father/mother, brother/sister, nurse, athlete, professional, etc).  The more meaningful the role of self-esteem, the bigger the impact it has on our global self-esteem.  For example, you as a bad cook would take criticism easier than a five-star chef.  

So what can we do to improve our self-esteem, a few ideas are listed below:

Using Positive Affirmations:

Positive affirmations such as, “I’m going to be successful.” are very popular, but they have a specific problem, they tend to make those with low self-esteem feel worse about themselves.  When our self-esteem is low, these declarations are contrary to our existing beliefs.  For affirmations to work, when your self-esteem is lower, determine affirmations that are more believable.  For example, instead of saying “I’m going to be successful” change it to “I’m going to keep going until I succeed!”  

Identify Your Strengths and Develop Them:

Self-esteem is developed by demonstrating ability and accomplishment in areas of our lives.  If you are proud of yourself for being a good cook, have more dinner parties.  If you are an amazing runner, sign up and train for races.  Figure out your strengths and then seek opportunities or careers that accentuate them.  

Accept Compliments:

One of the difficult aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we are not feeling our best we become more resistant to compliments.  Set yourself the goal to tolerate compliments when they occur, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.  The best way to stop that habit is to prepare simple responses and use them automatically.  

Stop Self Criticism And Implement Self Compassion:

When our self-esteem is low, we are likely to lower it more by being self-critical.  Since we want to enhance our self-esteem, we need to switch from criticism to self-compassion.  Whenever your self-critical inner voice kicks in, as yourself what you would say to a loved one if they were in your situation.  

Affirm Your Worth:

This exercise has been proven to help revive your self-esteem after it received a hit.  Make a list of your qualities that benefit and contribute to the context of your situation.  For example, if you were turned down on a date, make a list or remind yourself of the qualities that make you a good partner or relationship prospect.  Then from your list, pick one that you can write one or two paragraphs about why it is beneficial, valuable, and would be appreciated.  

Improving your self-esteem takes a lot of hard work because you need to develop and maintain healthier emotional habits.  For support in improving your self-esteem, click here.