One of the most important relationships that make up your life is the relationship that you have with yourself. The way that you treat yourself, talk to yourself, or even follow through on promises you’ve made to yourself can impact your overall mental health and wellbeing. It is easy to fall into a cycle of pleasing others and seeking external validation, however this takes away from your ability to trust or even love yourself. The relationship you have with yourself also directly impacts the way in which you connect with others. 

It is important to take the time to invest in and strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself as this can help to build confidence, and self-esteem, leave or avoid toxic relationships with others, and feel content with being alone. The following are some examples of how you can begin to strengthen and grow the relationship with yourself: 

• Begin to pay attention to how you talk to yourself. If you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk and putting yourself down, it is important to work on shifting that internal monologue. It is hard to like yourself if you are constantly being critical of yourself or focusing on your self-identified flaws. Practice being kinder in the way that you speak to yourself and focusing on your strengths to help promote a sense of self-love. If you find this to be difficult, you can always pretend like you are talking to a best friend or family member that you love and support.

• Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes. We are all human and all make mistakes, but if you beat yourself up and harp on these mistakes it can be a detriment to how you view yourself. Take the time to remind yourself “I’m trying” or “I can do better next time”. Approach your mistakes with a loving voice, rather than a critical one.

• Set kind, small, attainable goals for yourself and follow through. It is important to prioritize needs for your body and mind, this all begins with goals. Figure out what it is that your body or mind needs and set small daily goals to achieve this (drink more water each day, exercise a half hour a few days a week, read for a half-hour, etc.). Making goals for yourself allows a window to start engaging in those acts of kindness. Following through on these goals also makes it easier to know that you can show up for yourself.

• Spend quality time with yourself and invest in your interests. Spending time alone at times can seem daunting, but it is important that you begin to foster that time for self-growth and independence. Take the time to learn what your hobbies and interests are and begin to find ways you can begin to incorporate them into your life.

• Set time aside each day to acknowledge the positives. At the end of each day take time to reflect and write down at least two positive attributes about yourself and one positive action that you took to be kind to yourself. This exercise allows you to end each day on a positive note and continue to foster kindness to yourself.

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