Everyone has an understanding that having a strong self-esteem is important, but actually establishing positive self-esteem can be difficult.  When we have higher self-esteem, not only do we feel better about ourselves, we become more resilient too.  Another benefit of positive self-esteem is being less vulnerable to anxiety, due to reduction in the release of cortisol (the stress hormone). 

Self-esteem can be affected by so many complicated things and can even fluctuate daily and even hourly.  Our self-esteem is made up of both how we feel about our global feelings about ourselves and how we feel about our roles in life such as being a parent, a student, a professional, etc. 

Self-esteem can certainly be improved and takes a lot of work and consistency.  Here are some tips to help nourish, and heighten, your self-esteem:

 

1. Use of positive affirmations; Positive affirmations are very popular. For these affirmations to work, when your self-esteem is starting to get depleted, remember to make them realistic and believable to yourself. For example, instead of saying, “I am going to be a great success!” reframe it as, “I will continue to try hard until I succeed!”

2. Identify your strengths and develop them; Self-esteem is built by demonstrating a great ability and achievement in domains of our lives. For example, if you are a talented cook, host more dinner parties. If you are athletic and a good runner, sign up for races and train for them. Take the time to figure out your strengths so you can find opportunities or careers that accentuate them.

3. Learn to accept compliments; An unfortunate part of having low self-esteem is that you become resistant to compliments, even though that would be the time you need it the most. The best way to stop the initial refusal or deflection of the compliment, is to have simple phrases prepared to use automatically such as “Thank you.”

4. Choose self-compassion over self-criticism; When you struggle with a low self-esteem, it may damage your esteem further by being self-critical. If your self-esteem tends to be more impacted by negative inner-dialogue, utilizing self-compassion is even more important. As people, we tend to be more compassionate towards our friends than ourselves. You must redirect those same ideas and motivating words for yourself.

5. Affirm your worth; Make a list of qualities that are meaningful to you and that you have within yourself. For example, if you are feeling low about not getting a second date, make a list of all the qualities that make you a good partner. Then choose one of the qualities and write a few sentences about why this quality is important and is appreciated by others.

Improving self-esteem requires hard work, and it involves development of high self-esteem and maintaining it.  Maintaining healthy emotional habits will provide a high self-esteem overall. 

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