Depression is ubiquitous, and unfortunately, a loved one in our life may struggle. When someone we love is having a difficult time, all we want to do is help, but many ask how? You can let them know you have noticed the change and express empathy.
Here are some tips to keep conversations happening and show support.
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Don’t assume how they feel and ask: How you approach the conversation will make all the difference. Instead of using questions such as, “You seem sad” or “You seem depressed.” It would help if you asked them how they feel or what has been on their mind lately.
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Don’t jump to problem-solving and listen: Because you want to help your loved one, you may automatically want to go into problem-solving mode, but listening to what they say about their experience is essential. Show empathy and support. Show that all of the focus is on them. Use phrases such as, “I can’t directly relate to that, but it sounds like that is hard to deal with.” Validating their feelings and experience can help them feel seen and heard.
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Make flexible plans: Your loved one may not ask to spend time with you, but an offer to get together serves as a reminder that you are thinking of them. Instead of inviting them to something more social, like a party, suggest more of a one-on-one activity, so there is less pressure to act upbeat or socialize.
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Remember, it’s not personal: It can be challenging to cope with the thoughts that you might be doing something wrong if your loved one is withdrawn or wants to be alone, but they are not pushing you away on purpose.
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Know when professional help is needed: You can’t force someone to seek therapy, and that can push them away. But you should seek help if you notice your loved one’s depression is getting worse.
Some signs to look out for are: change in eating/sleeping habits, more isolation, poor self-care, inability to complete their everyday responsibilities, and/or excessive crying/agitation.
**You should always seek emergency medical attention if your loved one is thinking of suicide, such as wanting to die, having the intent and planning of ways to take their life, talking about being a burden, or behaving recklessly.** Contact the NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE at 1-800-273-TALK. If you or someone you know need additional, ongoing support around reducing and managing symptoms of depression, click here.
