Anger

After a stressful day it can be difficult to turn off our negative thoughts and feelings. It can be easy to bring stress home after a long day at work, an argument with a friend, or whatever it may be that brought you down. It is important to take care of yourself after a stressful day by checking in with yourself and allowing a mental reset. Taking a mental reset can help in better managing your stress and not allowing it to continue the remainder of the day into the next. The following are ten tips and strategies you can use to help unwind after a stressful day:

In a relationship, whether this is a romantic relationship or another close relationship, there are a few things we, as humans, typically respond to more desirably. There are also things to which we tend to respond undesirably. Some examples of things that we respond more desirably to would include: validation, communication, loyalty, and trust. Consequently, the absence of some of or all these things can lead to what John Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999) referred to as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” for a relationship. These “four horsemen” include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. One of the most destructive of these is Contempt.

We hear the term self-care often. With many stressors in our personal lives and around the world, impacting all of us, the idea of self-care is even more prominent as the world changes and shifts. You have probably heard about many strategies to cope, such as: taking a walk, taking a nap, writing down positive thoughts and others. Let’s explore additional self-care strategies you might try.

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is based on a dialectical module which helps one to find the middle path or gray thinking with cognition and behaviors. When you think in a “all or nothing” way, you take on unnecessary stress and tension in life. DBT helps you think in terms of “all or at least something”.

When you show affection to your significant other, do you know if it’s the way that they like to receive it? Love can get lost in translation when two people have different types of love languages. The five love languages are different ways of expressing and receiving love. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these styles of communicating love.

During a therapy session you have the space to talk about your emotions and stressors, confront your problems, and be provided with helpful feedback to support positive changes. The time spent in a therapy session can feel empowering, but this is only a small portion of your week. There are 168 hours in a week, less than one of those hours are spent in therapy. A common misconception is that attending your weekly therapy sessions is all that is needed, but the time in between therapy sessions also holds an important space to continue to progress. So the real question is, what do you do in the time in between therapy sessions? While there is not an exact science or formula that is guaranteed to work, the following are helpful tips and ideas to help you in between sessions.

In a committed relationship, whether this is a romantic relationship or another close and intimate relationship, there are a few things that as humans, we typically respond more desirably to for the purposes of having an effective relationship. There are also things to which we respond undesirably. Some examples of things that we respond more desirably to would be validation, communication, loyalty, and trust. Consequently, the absence of some of or all these things can lead to what John Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999) referred to as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” for a relationship. These “four horsemen” include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. One of the most destructive of these is Contempt. . However, there are safeguards that can be put in place to help protect yourself from this particular “horseman”.

Emotional experiences can feel so overwhelming. So much so that they can make us convinced that they are insurmountable, like a large wave coming over you as you stand in the shallow waters. It turns out that this is a very fitting metaphor for emotional spikes. Just as one can be overtaken and overwhelmed by a large wave, so too can one learn the skills needed to read the onset of the wave, position themselves effectively with it, and surf the wave which allows one to experience emotions with mastery and confidence. Additionally, because we experience emotions everyday of our lives, learning to surf your emotional waves can be practiced every day. This starts with seeing your feelings as a wave; strong, influential, and temporary… yes… temporary. Many cognitive patterns that lead to mental health disorders are habits that take single-emotion events and reinforce them again and again until they feel chronic. The emotion typically only lasted a few seconds or a few minutes at most and any secondary or lingering feelings are being upheld by what your thoughts, beliefs, and responses create. With this understanding, one can experience the emotional wave effectively in the moment before allowing that wave to return to the ocean never to come back in that exact form ever again.

While anger is a valid emotion and natural to feel, when anger takes over and we lose control this can lead to challenges in our personal and professional lives, impacting our emotional wellbeing. However, there are techniques to manage our anger so that we can feel in control of our emotions. Anger management strategies can be extremely helpful in managing and reducing feelings of anger. Anger management strategies include learning how to recognize what anger looks like in ourselves, how to reduce feelings of anger, stepping back and reflecting on our anger before acting on it, understanding the triggers that cause us to feel angry, and how to utilize anger in healthy ways.

We all know that anger is a normal emotion and valid in many situations. However expressing anger through yelling, expletives, or aggressive behaviors can lead to negative consequences. It’s important we find ways to share our anger with others in ways that allow the other to hear and understand us.