Most people who have experienced a breakup know how painful they can be, especially if you were not the one who decided to end things. Along with the feelings that already come with a breakup – sadness, loss of motivation, obsessive thoughts – we tend to make ourselves feel guilty, angry, or embarrassed by our feelings. You may think to yourself, ‘Why can’t I just get over this?’ or ‘If they ended the relationship, I shouldn’t want to be with them’. Unfortunately, our brains are not wired this way and your feelings are usually warranted. It may make you feel more validated to know that there are legitimate scientific reasons as to why breakups are so difficult.
The best way to de-escalate an argument is to control your emotions. If you do that, there’s a good chance your partner will follow suit. To prevent things from getting out of control, try the following tips.
Are you considering trying therapy or preparing for your first therapy session? Here’s what to expect.
Do you ever wonder why some people seem to be able to overcome obstacles and struggles more easily than others? That is because they may have more resilience. This is a trait that you are born with, but that can also be worked on and enhanced. Everyone can benefit on working on their resilience, so here are some tips:
It is common when fighting with someone you love to say things you later regret. This stems from our worst fears being brought out, whether it’s a fear being abandoned, betrayed, or unseen. When we fight with those we love, we often want to be heard and work through deep issues. Unfortunately, in the midst of fighting, resolutions don’t always come so easily. If you notice that you are becoming triggered, you should remove yourself from the situation. One of the best things you can do to prevent the fight from continuing is to allow one or both of you to take a short break. This works when there is a prior agreement and strategies in place. Here are some guidelines:
The key to learning to work together as a team is to remember that every healthy relationship involves give and take. Both individuals have to want to participate fully and find ways to support each other for a balanced, mutually fulfilling relationship. It will be worth it to set some time aside to discuss which tasks each of you are good at and which ones are challenging. If your spouse is stronger in an area that is difficult for you, maybe they can take over that responsibility. If you are both weak in a certain area, think about ways you can get outside help. Here are some tips you can utilize in your household to support your spouse with ADHD: