While building insight about any particular idea or choice, our minds tend to have little conversations or monologues weighing all the different aspects and facts around the situation.  Sometimes we look to our trusted supports in our life to help in this process and offer an outsider’s perspective.  As a therapist, insight-building is often a part of the therapeutic process.  Sometimes it is a clear objective and other times it is a byproduct of the therapeutic process itself. Regardless, insight refers to our ability to use our wisdom to build a complete understanding of an idea or situation.   This is very important when related to making a choice or building motivation for change.  If you struggle with this at times, below is a list of open-ended questions that may be used to help build that complete understanding.

 

1: How will I feel about this in 6 months from now?

 This question can be adjusted to any length of time that feels the most appropriate for the situation at hand.   For example, you may want to ask how you will feel in 5-10 years about taking a new job, and how will I feel in 2 weeks about whether or not I should clean the house before going on a trip.  You can even ask yourself how I might feel at the end of my life looking back at this moment and the possible decisions you may make.  We cannot know for certain what we will feel in the future, but this allows us to see the facts more objectively and with our future wellbeing in mind.

 

2: If my fears or other insecure feelings about this situation magically disappeared, what would I choose to do then?

 This question allows you to imagine a version of this situation where the emotional consequences are removed to help you focus more on the emotional rewards.  Many choices are greatly affected by the fear of what may happen if…   In order to build a higher quality of life, these choices need to be more motivated by what is important to us and what we wish to see happen rather than what we simply want to avoid.  Keep in mind that this may still lead you to the same decision at times but just for a more meaningful reason.

 

3: What would you coach a close friend or family member to do in the same situation?

 Many people often devalue themselves compared to others as a means of emotional self-protection.  Therefore, we may often genuinely encourage friends in ways that we do not allow for ourselves.  This question allows us to more directly access our insight when we imagine offering it to a close friend rather than ourselves.  For some people, the hardest part here is taking that insight and turning into action.  That topic is covered in a blog with the link below.

 https://moderntherapy.online/blog-2/2022/8/25/time-for-change-how-to-build-up-motivation-for-change

For more support around making choices and navigating decisions, click here.