Sometimes we need to revamp our relationships. All of us can think of times we need a refresh whether this is of goals, experiences, the clothes in our closet, or our beliefs, and the same rings true for our relationships. We grow and change in and out of relationships and there is no rule that you have to stay the same if you are in one. It is healthy and positive to grow and change yourself and within your relationship.

         How do you consider revamping or shifting your relationship? Here are four easy ways to refresh and renegotiate your relationship:

1.    Recognize it is normal, appropriate, positive, and healthy to renegotiate your relationship

Rather than feeling like things are hopeless, set aside some time and ask your partner what they like and dislike about your relationship. What does your partner need more of? What do both of you need from the other? Questions like this can lead to more open communication which can lead to change.

2.    Your relationship that worked several years ago may not work now

Most relationships go through a learning curve when they start. You and your partner learn each others’ limitations, expectations want, needs, etc. Rather than ending up in a standoff with your partner and wait for your partner to change, open up the conversation. If you wait for your partner to change, this can lead to you feeling resentment and other negative feelings.

3.    As you and your partner evolve, so does the relationship

Consider what is lacking in the relationship. Both you and your partner’s needs will change throughout the relationship. As your needs change so do your desires. Remember, your partner isn’t a mind reader as to these changes you may experience.

4.    Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for what you want.

As mentioned, you nor your partner are mind readers. If you want things to change you have to talk about it. You can have a conversation about your relationship and express what you like and don’t like. Your relationship doesn’t have to follow specific rules, the terms of your relationship can be renegotiated.

Every relationship is unique and therefore you and your partner may have other ways of revamping and renegotiating the relationship. Remember, you can always use couples therapy as a tool to create a safe space to discuss and renegotiate your relationship as well.

What are some other suggestions can you think of to refresh relationships by renegotiating?