When we validate, we confirm that our feelings or someone’ else’s feelings are valid. When we validate ourselves we are receiving internal validation, when others do it, it is external. Let’s understand more what these two types of validation are
There are two types: External & Internal Validation
When others validate your feelings, this is known as external validation. Whether someone compliments you at work, comments on a picture you posted or shares gratitude with you, this is external validation. This validation can feel great! However, often these moments are fleeting, and it’s important to have regular validation in order to boost your mood and feelings about yourself.
When you validate yourself and shift from positive thoughts around your feelings as opposed to judging or blaming yourself, this is internal validation. It’s allowing yourself to feel how you are feeling, without criticism. This can be particularly helpful in situations where something negative occurs and you want to give up or shut down, as internal validation has you focus on moving forward rather than focusing on the negatives from that event.
External validation is nice as it makes us feel good, however, we want to ensure we’re all getting healthy doses of both internal and external validation. Both are needed to be healthy. When we only focus on others for validation, it means we have to rely on others providing this to us which isn’t always possible. Practice validating yourself and build up this skill for both daily moments and more challenging ones.
