One of the things that distress people struggling with mental health challenges like anxiety and depression is the inability to make a decision or sometimes feeling like they do not know what it is they want in a given situation. This can cause much distress and make undesirable situations even more difficult. There are many insight-building strategies that help people clarify what is important to them and what choices they want to make. In this blog, we will be going over one of those strategies in the form of a four-square pros and cons exercise. This is inspired by that from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy but includes a few differences. This exercise is designed to help you access your wisdom regarding a particular choice. Please keep in mind that when using this exercise, each time it is used it is used for the positive statement of a choice, and then the negative statement of the choice. For example, this tool would be done with statements such as “attending my friend’s birthday party” and “not attending my friend’s birthday party” instead of 2 different statements such as “Attending my friend’s birthday party” and “Going to the mall”. Now, let’s review more about how this exercise is used.

As therapists, an important part of what we provide to our clients is coaching and education on coping skills. This term is used a lot to describe a growing set of cognitive, behavioral, and/or emotional tools that allow for mood management and overall increasing quality of life by building new habits and responses to one’s environment. When people hear the term coping skills they may envision someone taking slow deep breaths or going for a walk outside. These are examples of fantastic skills to use and regularly help many people. However, some people, including some of those who seek therapeutic services, can perceive the idea of coping skills as a waste of time or “not real therapy”. These are sometimes folks who struggle with buying into their own influence over their daily lives or simply struggle profoundly with motivation. No matter what the reason, if one sees new and effective ways of coping with daily life stressors as valuable, then this can make treatment very difficult.

Negative, unhealthy, and intrusive thoughts are usually automatic, but they don’t have to take control of your daily life. With some tips, you can learn to tolerate that inner critic.

How do you learn something like riding a bike? Most likely someone gave you lessons and then you practiced. You can learn to study the same way. No one is born already knowing how to study. Learning, and then practicing those skills can build your studying capabilities.

Taking the time to check in with yourself is a very important routine to establish. Oftentimes, these check ins are completed for physical health; between routine doctor and dentist visits, recognizing when an illness or aches and pains begin. When a headache or fever begins, most will take medication to assist in feeling better. While it is important to pay attention to your physical health, it is also important to focus on your mental well-being. Sometimes you may be experiencing stress, sadness, or anger without either realizing it or taking the time to take care of yourself in those moments.

Halloween is around the corner, and some of us willingly put ourselves through fear and suspense. Pounding heartbeat, heavy breathing, having a cold sweat, butterflies in your stomach; these don’t sound like a fun experience, but we endure them when we feel fear. So why do you think so many people like to feel scared?

Depression is ubiquitous, and unfortunately, a loved one in our life may struggle. When someone we love is having a difficult time, all we want to do is help, but many ask how? You can let them know you have noticed the change and express empathy.

Taking on a challenging work project, school paper, workday, or studying can feel overwhelming, so much so that it sometimes causes you to push through without stopping until the task is complete. While in this process, taking the time to pause can bring feelings of guilt. Often, having this mindset can make the thought of taking a break as being “lazy” or “unproductive.” However, taking a break is the opposite of this, as there are many benefits that you will experience from doing so. Adapting the mindset of viewing breaks as a productive way to better help complete your tasks is essential.

Communication is vital in any relationship (romantic, workplace, family, friendships). Communication helps in sharing expectations, feelings, disappointments, and opinions. Being open in these relationships helps to strengthen the bond between them. This communication is essential when you feel disappointed or after your feelings are hurt; however, these situations are the most intimidating to approach due to fear of rejection or an argument. When approaching these difficult conversations, it is important to enter with a soft startup to lay the foundation for a productive, calm conversation.

Filling up your positivity gas tank is a term that can be used to help convey a similar idea as when one fills up their actual gas tank in their car. When you know you will need to drive your vehicle, and it needs to get you places reliably, and the gas tank is running low, you ensure that you stop and fill up the tank so that your car may perform as you need it to when you need it to. This metaphor is fitting for how our tolerance works in our daily life. Many people who suffer from common mental health challenges struggle with a thought distortion referred to as “filtering out the positive .”