Imagine this, you have to do some form of public speaking, or you are driving and the car in front of you stops short, or you are out for a walk and a strange animal jumps out in front of you. What would you do? Flight or fight are the body’s natural way to response to stressful, scary, or dangerous situations. After extensive data collection, researchers now acknowledge that there are other automatic responses in addition to flight or fight and they are freeze and fawn.

Being in a relationship with someone who has a trauma history can be uniquely challenging at times. In many cases, individuals who experience trauma may behave in ways that are hard for their partner to understand. They may experience panic attacks, express distrust, escalate quickly to anger, or become disengaged. As trauma can interrupt emotional processing, those who have experienced trauma often struggle to articulate what is really going on inside of them. This can cause conflict and miscommunication, and it can make it difficult for well-intended partners to know what kind of support to provide. If this sounds a bit like your experience, not to fear! There are ways to become a trauma-informed and compassionate partner while also maintaining your own boundaries and safety within your relationship.

Everyone has heard of the concept of “fight or flight” before. We know that when we perceive a threat exists (whether real or imagined) our sympathetic nervous system awakens. We’ve all had those moments where we experience a surge of adrenaline and our heart beats fast, our breathing quickens, muscles tense, etc. In this moment, our brains are evaluating whether the danger is real or not and whether you will stand up to it (fight) or run away (flight). However, there is a third option to the fight or flight response that we don’t talk about as often and this is “freeze”. We will explore this response, the benefits of this, as well as ways to reduce the impact this has on our bodies and minds.