Am I Dating A Narcissist?


Narcissists often have very attractive traits. They can be good looking, outgoing, and have excellent social skills. While many mental health disorders are more prevalent in one gender over the other, narcissism is equally as present in women as it is in men. Nationally, under 5% of people actually meet the criteria to truly be considered a narcissist, however many people carry some of the traits. If you've dated, or believe you are currently dating a narcissist, the chances are likely that you may feel or will feel anger, frustration and heartbreak. The sad truth is that to a narcissist, you're feelings will never be as important as their own.

Usually narcissists are very well put together, charming, intelligent, and focused on emerging as superior in social situations. Early on in the relationship, a narcissist will work hard to make it clear that he or she is an amazing catch and is a highly desired by the opposite sex. This is done intentionally early on to set things into perspective; You are in an inferior position, and that will not change. Here are some tell-tale signs that you may be dating a narcissist.

They love to talk about themselves.

Does your partner brag without even realizing it? Are your conversations far more focused on them than you? Do they genuinely seem interested in what you have to say? Narcissists love to talk about themselves and their own accomplishments. Next time you have a conversation, take special note on the topic of conversation. 

They love attention

Narcissists love attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. They are often extremely flirty. Relationships involving a narcissist will usually come along with frequent fights about jealousy, flirtation, or cheating. This craving for attention is referred to in psychology as "narcissistic supply". This supply often comes in the form of sexual attention - a primal need for a narcissist. If you're dating a narcissist, they may flirt with someone else right in front of you, or get a little "friendly" with a random person by putting their arm around a waste. This stems from the need for constant reassurance that they are desired and wanted. 

They do not take criticism well

Although narcissists act like they are in love with themselves, the truth is that they are deeply insecure. They overcompensate for their low self esteem by over projecting a fake level of confidence. This is why they can not tolerate even the slightest bit of criticism. When you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you are just not allowed to have any problems. If you criticize a narcissist too much, they will likely move on from the relationship. 

They display no accountability

Narcisists have an incredibly difficult time admitting to their own faults. For example, a narcissist might say or do something, but completely deny it the next second. They will also often twist tings around onto the other person to shift the blame. At some point during an argument with a narcissist, you may begin to question your own sanity! This trend will undoubtedly continue for the duration of your relationship because a narcissist is extremely resistant to change. 

If you recognize some of these signs in your partner, it does not necessarily mean that they are a narcissist, but it means it could be possible. Either way, it's not entirely fair for you to be investing more into a partner that does not care about you in the same way. The question you should be asking yourself is, do you want to be in a relationship that is so one sided?