Consent Preferences

You Deserve It: Six, Evidenced-Based Strategies to Increase Self-Compassion

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Self-compassion is thought of as giving yourself the same compassion you'd give others. That means that self-compassion involves comforting and taking care of yourself. Self-compassion includes skills like mindful awareness, self-acceptance, living your values, and loving-kindness. When we have self-compassion, we can identify when we fail to meet our standards or live our values, but we don't judge ourselves so much. That's why self-compassion may help us increase feelings of happiness and well-being. 

Here are some exercises to help you increase self-compassion.

1. Let Go of Negativity

When you find yourself focused on negative thoughts, try to imagine a blue sky with fluffy clouds. Attach each negative thought to a cloud and watch them as they move past. This activity can help you see negativity float away, which allows you space to focus on positive thoughts.

2. Stand Up to Your Inner Critic

If you find yourself being self-judgmental, try standing up for yourself against your inner critic. Be curious and ask yourself why you are saying these negative things. How would you talk to a bully saying these things to someone you care about?

3. Write a Self-Compassion Letter

Research shows that writing a self-compassionate letter to oneself can decrease depression and increase happiness. Try writing out a kind letter to yourself; speak to yourself like you would to a friend, child, or someone needing some additional kindness. 

4. Take a Self-Compassion Break

Take a quick self-compassion break. Maybe you are finding yourself being more critical or harsh toward yourself. By stopping and taking a break, doing something nice for yourself in some way, can shift your thoughts. 

5. Avoid “Shoulds”

We are told much of the time that we “should” do certain things, which leads us to talk to ourselves in the same way. However, often this isn’t helpful or even true, we are essentially judging ourselves for doing things differently than others might. Try to avoid the use of the word “should” in your internal dialogue with yourself. 

6. Practice Loving-Kindness

Have you ever tried a loving-kindness meditation? Usually they are directed toward others, but can also benefit your own well-being. Try to direct some love towards yourself. 



Self-compassion is an important skill for helping us improve our self-worth and self-confidence. For more support with this, click here.