How to Build Confidence


"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Eleanor Roosevelt

Nobody is born with a tremendous amount of self-confidence. If someone seems to have an enormous amount of it, chances are that that person has worked hard for years to build it. Since we live in a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves others through social media, it's easy to question our adequacy and feel inferior. Actively working towards building our self-confidence is an important skill to learn for anyone who struggles with poor self esteem. Increasing confidence in yourself will not only make you feel better mentally, but can also have a large impact on your career, relationships, and personal life.

Some Tips To Help You Increase Your Self Esteem:

1) Accomplish Something!

Thomas Carlyle, a Scottish philosopher, once said, "Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment." Think back to some of the big accomplishments in your life so far. This could be graduating from school, getting your first job, or securing a new relationship. How did it feel when you accomplished those things? I would imagine the answer is - great! Self- esteem feels good because it calls on our emotion of pride. Pride arises from a sense of confidence and capability. When we are achieving and performing up to our capability, a sense of success is instilled and confidence begins to increase. By accomplishing small things you set out to do more frequently, you can replicate this feeling and begin to build your confidence. Try picking a list of 5 things that you have been meaning to get done for some time and do one of them today! Then make a note of how you feel about yourself afterwards.

2) Visualize the person you want to be

Have you ever looked at someone and thought - "I wish I could be like that person"? Well you can with a little imagination. Visualization is the technique of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. The poor perception of ourselves that comes along with low self-confidence is often inaccurate. To improve your self-esteem, practice visualizing a better version of yourself, achieving your goals. 

3) Practice Positive Affirmations

Our own self-image tends to greatly impact the way we behave. The trick to changing your life is changing the way you view yourself. Affirmations are positive statements that can be said to yourself. Try to practice complimenting yourself and notice how it begins to change your confidence levels. To expedite this process, you can phase your affirmations as questions like, "Why am I so good at singing?" instead of "I am so good at singing." Our brains are automatically wired to answer questions whether the question is valid or not. 

4) Get out of your comfort zone

Don't underestimate yourself. The best way to overcome your fear is to stand up and face it! When you remove yourself from your comfort zone and do something that you fear, you end up surprising yourself. This will illicit the feeling that you can accomplish things that you were not even aware you could do and subsequently raise your confidence levels. 

5) Question your inner critic

Strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) help you to question your inner critic and look for evidence to support or deny the things that you are saying to yourself. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?” Working with a therapist can help you in the process of this. A company like Modern Therapy can help by pairing you with a therapist who specializes in CBT.