Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is based on a dialectical module which helps one to find the middle path or gray thinking with cognition and behaviors. When you think in a "all or nothing" way, you take on unnecessary stress and tension in life. DBT helps you think in terms of "all or at least something". For example, when you are going through a stressful time, you can examine your current situation, and ask yourself the following two questions, "Is there a silver lining?", "What is going well in my life despite of this current stress?".
Another way to cope with distress is to have healthy distractions. You can do this by using the acronym IMPROVE.
I stands for Imagery: think of positive times and imagine that person or experience again. Try to use all your senses when doing this. You can use guided imagery with an app or YouTube video. Try this before bedtime.
M stands for Meaning: Ask yourself, “Is there an opportunity in this problem? What is the lesson or the learning that will come from these difficulties? What is my why to keep going?”
P stands for Prayer: Seek strength and connection with a higher power whether through organized religion, or spirituality. Avoid "why me" or bargaining prayers as these kinds of self-reflection can feel demoralizing. You can pray in any form by journaling, meditating, or even thinking of what you would say to a loved one, perhaps even a loved one who passed away.
R stands for Relaxation: Try any relaxation techniques you prefer. This can be deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, coloring, napping, playing an instrument-anything you find relaxing.
O stands for one thing, or step, at a time: when you have multiple stressors, write down everything that comes to your mind on paper, like a brain dump, then pick the most important one to focus on, or even the one you have the most resources to solve. Then take the next best step, then the next best step after that and so on, as you move forward. Remember to take things one step, moment, and day at a time.
V is for Vacation: you don't have to wait until your boss approves your vacation time. Take mini vacations daily. Step outside for 10 minutes, breathe fresh air, stretch every hour, read five pages of a very interesting book. Whenever you get pockets of times throughout the day, listen to music or an inspiring podcast, while washing dishes, talk with a dear friend while folding the laundry.
E is for Encouragement: be mindful of how you talk to yourself and catch yourself when you are being negative and flip the script! Flipping the script is to challenge yourself to think positive. Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend.
Life is not impossible; it can feel that way sometimes. However, there are a lot of tools that can benefit and assist in reducing and managing these feelings. For further support click here.