Your inner dialogue can either empower you, or break you down. Often times, negative self talk can be a self fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you walk into a room and think to yourself, “everyone is going to hate me because I am so awkward”, chances are you’ll come off a bit unapproachable. You see, our thoughts greatly influence how we behave. Telling yourself you won’t success over and over again will almost guarantee that you won’t.
If your the type of person that tends to be overly critical of yourself, you’re in good company. Many people experience self doubt, but you don’t need to be a victim of your own verbal abuse. Rather, try to address your negative self talk and change it. Here are a few ways you can begin to do that!
Don’t dwell.
When you aren’t feeling your most confident or you get side swiped by a horrible day, don’t ruminate over it. Instead, distract yourself from the thought by interrupting it. This can be done by replacing the negative thought with a completely different subject or activity.
Replace the thought.
They say that perception is reality - so change your own inner perception! When you find yourself thinking, “I always mess up”, replace the negative thought with a more realistic statement like, “Sometimes I do things very well and sometimes I don’t, just like most people.” Replacing the exaggerated internal statement with a more realistic one will make your inner dialogue seem kinder.
Think about things from a different perspective.
What advice would you give a friend who was struggling with self doubt or low confidence? Hopefully you wouldn’t agree with them! Offer compassionate and encouraging words to yourself when your feeling low just like you would do for a close friend.
Become more self aware.
Pay close attention to your thoughts and understand that just because you have one, doesn’t mean it’s true. Our thoughts are often biased. At the same time, learn to recognize and tell the difference between untrue self dialogue and valuable self reflection.
Focus on self improvement.
Instead of letting your inner dialogue defeat you, use it to drive you to become a better version of yourself. Accept your flaws for what they are and go to work on fixing them. Once you improve in the areas that you are constantly criticizing internally, you’ll have no reason to continue the self criticism.