Talking to your child about any topic can be difficult at times, however, the discussion of mental health can be particularly tricky. There could be many reasons why this topic is tip-toed around, but it is important to address if you are worried about your child, so you can assist them in receiving proper mental health treatment.

In America, the percentage of youth that experience mental health symptoms continues to increase, but services are still not properly utilized. Data collected from Mental Health America, in a 2021 study, found there has been an increase in the last year of 206,000 youth (ages 12-17) that have experienced at least one depressive episode, and 126,000 youth (ages 12-17) that experienced severe major depression. Of those youth, it was found that 59.6% did not receive mental health services to support them during these difficult times.

As a parent, these statistics can probably seem overwhelming. Know that you are not alone in facing this difficult topic. Even if you do not sense that your child is struggling, it is still important to begin the dialogue around mental health, so they can be comforted in knowing they can reach out for help if they should ever need it.

So where do we begin when having these conversations? The following are strategies and tips for talking with your child about mental health.

Timing is key: There is no specific formula for the “perfect” timing of this conversation. It is important to make sure that it is during a moment when you're alone with your child. This could be at home, out to dinner, on a walk, etc. Try to avoid having this conversation when they are about to run out of the door or seem to be preoccupied with something else because it could lead to the conversation being rushed, shut down, or misunderstood.
Validate: If your child does begin to discuss their mental health with you, it is important to validate their thoughts and feelings rather than becoming dismissive. Sometimes the voice inside your head does not understand or feel that their stressors are “a big deal”, but to your child they are. If your child feels invalidated or minimized it can deter them from wanting to discuss their emotions in general.
Normalize: Oftentimes children and teens feel that they are alone in their struggles. It is important to normalize these feelings and let them know that they are not the only ones that experience these feelings and thoughts. Additionally, if you or your family members have experienced similar emotions it could be a helpful moment to make them aware and connect around this.
Use active listening: Sometimes it can be difficult to not interrupt or provide direct feedback in the moment, but it is important to utilize active listening skills to allow your child the space to express themselves and feel that they are being heard.
Offer help and assistance: Let your child know that you are always there for them if they need to talk about their feelings, ask them how they would like to be helped, and offer to enroll them in mental health services.
Don’t be pushy: If you find your child shutting down or becoming agitated at the topic of the conversation, allow them to have their space while also letting them know that you are there if they would like to talk in the future. Or if your child actively refuses to attend services or discuss their mental health with you, do not force them into it, rather let them know that it is always an option if they would like to explore it in the future.

Again, talking to anyone about their mental health can be very difficult and uncomfortable, but it is important that these conversations begin to happen because it could open a door for ongoing conversations and mitigate the risk of worsening symptoms.

If you suspect, or if your child endorses, they are a danger to themselves or others, it is important to seek immediate emergent services. Contact your local screening center or your nearest emergency room. For additional support around navigating stress and anxiety around parenting, and supporting your child, click here.