While we all want to be happy, we often get in the way of our own happiness. However, the first step in getting out of this cycle is to become aware of the actions that keep this loop going. Below are some tips of ways to stop this cycle in order to increase your happiness.
1. Reduce “Victim” Behaviors
Victims tend to blame others for their situations, often feel powerless to change their circumstances and wait for others to come and rescue them. Shift from viewing yourself as a “victim” and instead as a “creator”, meaning you create the life you want.
2. Cut down on “If-Then” Thinking
Most of us have a long list of things that we believe have to happen in order to feel happy. Insisting things go a certain way in order to be happen forces happiness to be contingent on other things. However, happiness is innate within us, and is not contingent on anything else.
3. Reduce pessimism
Keep a journal and jot down your best possible future, look on the bright side of each situation. Those who are happy don’t pretend everything is perfect, however, they don’t dwell on what went wrong or the imperfect, instead they look for the silver lining in every scenario. Those who are happy remain hopeful about the future and focus on things improving.
4. Stop Multitasking
Multitasking causes your attention to be divided, making it so you cannot focus on anything you are truly doing. Focus on the task you are doing in order to increase happiness and be fully involved in one activity at a time.
5. Stop Trying to Chase Perfection
Swap out perfection for optimism. Perfectionism focuses on the idea that you and your environment need to be perfect, whereas optimism allows you to set high standards grounded in reality so that if failing, this is accepted as part of achieving one’s goals. Satisfaction in the journey toward achieving those goals is part of the process.
6. Avoid Dwelling on the Past
Negativity occurs when focusing on unpleasant experiences from the past. This can lead to feeling anger, shame, and regret. These emotions in turn, can stop you from taking the steps needed to create joy and happiness in the present.
7. Don’t Live in the Future
Thinking about the future is important, however, focusing on future goals and rewards while ignoring the present moment does not lead to happiness. This can cause one to neglect relationships, self-care, and happiness as one is striving for something that may or may not happen.
8. Stop Holding Grudges
Letting go of a grudge or forgiving, doesn’t mean that what the other person did is alright, it just means you have decided you will no longer allow it to impact your happiness.
9. Avoid Focusing on Your Weaknesses
Play to your strengths instead. Research in positive psychology shows that by identifying your strengths, those things you are naturally good at, and utilizing them often, you increase your happiness.
10. Don’t Wait for the Right Time
There is no such thing, the only time you have is the present so begin what you aim to do, that will be the “right time”.
11. Stop Living Mindlessly
Mindfulness has been shown to increase happiness. The feeling you get when being mindful is the same when you are passionate about something, meaning you feel good!
12. Don’t Focus on the Big Picture Alone
Those who are happy notice and appreciate the little things. Big events are few and far between; an overall sense of happiness comes from the daily things that make you feel good.
If you are still finding it difficult to seek happiness, click here to work with a talk therapist.
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