While healing from a divorce, you may experience a grieving process and there are things you can focus on during this time. Exhaustion, overwhelming feelings, negative and painful feelings may arise and while these can be scary, they are also normal and can be worked through. Here are some ways to cope through the process of moving forward from a divorce:
Don’t be hard on yourself: Perspective is important, especially when you are learning to cope with divorce. If you are feeling guilty or ashamed for your marriage ending, please remember it takes two people to start and end a relationship. Forgiving yourself may help you let go of any remorse or guilt you may be experiencing. Make sure to give yourself the time and space to forgive yourself and begin starting the new phase of your life.
Lean into your support system: Lean on your friends and family. It may be difficult at first to spend time with others, but it will benefit you emotionally. Reach out to friends and make plans. You can also join a support group, these are an excellent place to connect with others who are struggling with similar things.
Engage in self-care: Self-care is always important, especially when you are going through a difficult time like a divorce. Taking the time to do things that you enjoy can make a world of difference in your overall mood. The best thing about self-care is that it can be anything you want it to be, as long as it is something positive!
Divorce counseling: You may be handling things to the best of your ability and sometimes still experience overwhelming feelings, anger, or resentment and this could be a good time to seek counseling. Divorce counseling can allow you to find new ways on how to navigate the process.
Discover new interests or hobbies: Keeping yourself busy can help to distract yourself at times and exploring new hobbies and interests can be beneficial. You will notice the more downtime you have, your mind may wander and you are more prone to thinking negatively or engaging in overthinking.
Avoid conflict: This may sound easy, but old habits can cause unnecessary conflict. This may be difficult, but engaging in conflict will do no good for the situation. Engage in positive coping skills when you find it difficult to break old, unhealthy habits.
Time for self-reflection: Self-reflection is always a good thing. Anytime you are going through a major life change it is good to take time and focus on the positive and negative aspects of the situation. You can think about what your part of the relationship was, if you need to apologize for anything, if you have any regrets, if you are holding onto any resentments, etc.
For more support around moving forward from, and coping with, feelings associated with divorce, click here.