Anger is one of the emotions most people would put in their list of fundamental feelings that they, and most others, would experience regularly. There are entire treatment modalities and services specifically dedicated to anger management that help educate and coach individuals in recognizing anger triggers and reducing the spikes in distress in the moment. This does lead to the idea that anger is one of the most common emotions that people do struggle with in ways that directly effects their lives. Though anger is a very strong feeling and one of the ways we may choose to express how we feel in many situations in our lives, it was during my start as a therapist that I was taught, and then reaffirmed through my experiences, that anger almost always comes second. This is means that it is rarely a primary emotion and is often then referred to as a secondary emotion. A secondary emotion refers to a feeling one has about another already existing feeling. It is here that the iceberg idea begins.
Mornings & Mental Health: Starting Your Mornings Off with Routine
The way you begin your morning can have a huge impact on the rest of your day, whether this be a positive or negative impact. The first moments of the day have a correlation to your productivity and your mood. Starting the day off on a positive note helps to set you up for success to conquer the day. This all begins with a morning routine that sets a positive tone.
Taking Care of You: Coping with Divorce
If you are trying to cope with a divorce, you may experience a grieving process. Know this is normal and that there are several things you can do in order to cope with difficult feelings. Divorces can be exhausting, overwhelming, and full of negative emotions. You may experience feelings of depression, anxiety, and/or stress. Know that these feelings are valid. While you navigate through this grieving process, you may go through cycles of feelings. It is important amidst this to enjoy all the things you previously loved doing and make space for you and what brings you joy.
Building & Growing: Tips to Improve Trust in a Relationship
Trust in a relationship, whether it is a romantic relationship or a relationship with a friend or family, is one of the most important building blocks for a close, healthy relationship. It is also unfortunate how easy it is to lose trust, and how challenging it can be to rebuild. To rebuild trust you need time, patience, and hard work; and it is possible if both people are motivated.
Let's Talk About Love Languages
Love can have a language of its own, from the way we show love to the way we like to receive love. It is important to be in tune with how you prefer to be loved by others, this can make it easier to understand what it is we are looking for from others. It is also important to understand how your partner likes to receive love because this can make it easier to make them feel appreciated in their own way. In 1992 Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book “The 5 Love Languages” which can help to work as a guide, noting five areas that are most prominent ways that individuals show and receive love. Take a minute to reflect on how you feel appreciated or loved by others, now look at the following descriptions of the five love languages to see where you align!
Walk It Out! The Benefits of Walking
Walking can be a great way to boost your physical and emotional well-being. It is a great exercise that can easily be done anywhere. Walking increases your blood flow and circulation between your brain and your body, this positively impacts your hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis which is responsible for the response of your central nervous system and stress responses (Brennan, 2021). Basically, what this means is that the body functioning while walking helps to alleviate stress, increase your overall mood, and even help you to sleep better. Walking obviously has its benefits in more ways than one, so how do you go about incorporating this into your routine? The following are tips and tricks on how to begin your walking journey.
Relationship Strategies: Coping With The Ending of a Friendship
It is never easy when a friendship ends. It could have happened one of two ways, either you were the one to end it, or your former friend decided to. And it was likely due to so many reasons, either the friendship was toxic, codependent, a significant event, the relationship just drifted apart, etc. Romantic breakups are more talked about than friendship breakups, but they happen to everyone, and they can hurt just as bad.
Feeling Good About You: Strategies to Improve Self-Esteem
Everyone has an understanding that having a strong self-esteem is important, but actually establishing positive self-esteem can be difficult. When we have higher self-esteem, not only do we feel better about ourselves, we become more resilient too. Another benefit of positive self-esteem is being less vulnerable to anxiety, due to reduction in the release of cortisol (the stress hormone).
Solutions-Focused: Problem-Solving Steps Made Easy
We may have all heard the term “problem-solving” but I wonder how many people actually know the steps in the process. If you ask someone how to solve a problem, they may say something like “just find what works” or “figure out the problem before trying to solve it” and just like how the average person could change the brakes on their car, an experienced mechanic will know all the basics just as well as they would know all the subtleties and best practices that would take the process from just working to working optimally. I am sure that many people reading this could say that they have solved countless problems in their lives, but to have a step-by-step guide on an effective method of doing so may yet be useful.
Coping with Social Anxiety: Techniques for Support
It is common to feel nervous during social situations, but if you have social anxiety, everyday activities can be challenging. You may feel self-conscious and struggle with self-esteem. There are several ways to cope with social anxiety. Here are some tips to help you feel better and manage the day.
Understanding The Feeling Of Acceptance
When one hears the word acceptance, it can bring up different definitions in different people. For example, many think that the term acceptance means viewing something as okay or that you are actively allowing it to be. This definition may be fitting for communicating these ideas but in the context of therapy, the term acceptance is used differently. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, acceptance is a large part of the process of change and is a difficult skill to master. In this context acceptance (sometimes used in the term Radical Acceptance) can be the most powerful tool in building your mental health throughout your life.
Supporting Others: Strategies to Provide Emotional Validation
When a loved one is struggling with mental health or life difficulties, and they come to you for support it can be hard to know how to navigate the conversation or how to respond. Sometimes, it is instinctual to jump into “fix it” mode with advice or to become overly positive. While this can be helpful at times, it can also be a strength to provide validation or to be a comforting presence. Providing validation does not mean that you necessarily agree with this person, rather it is taking the time to learn about the emotions, show respect, and express acceptance. The following are some helpful tips for providing support and emotional validation for a loved one.
Navigating Social Media: Health and Happiness in the Digital Age
Take a minute to pause and evaluate your own social media usage. Do you find yourself becoming upset if you do not receive a specific amount of likes or comments? Have you ever altered a photo to fit a certain image? Or, have you been more consumed with getting the perfect post than being able to enjoy the moment? If you find yourself answering yes or taking too much time to think of an answer, you may need to reevaluate your social media usage. The following are some tips to utilize for social media without it becoming harmful.
Emotional Wellbeing & Work: Is your Job Good For You?
Forty or more hours a week, 9 am to 5 pm or later, short breaks then back at it again. Sound familiar? Many jobs have this format but a growing number (particularly after the pandemic) are adopting a different format and requiring workers to figure out solutions to new challenges. Whether you are a restaurant server, warehouse supervisor, or a CEO, the idea that a job or a career is a regular and necessary part of life is built into our culture. Just think of the perceptions around the idea of being “unemployed” or “jobless” or how many times you may have heard growing up things like “you need a job” or “no one likes to work, but you have to do it.” From the time you begin to work until retirement, it is assumed that everyone needs to work a job in order to achieve. It is here where many people struggle with the idea of sacrificing so much of their time to a job when their values would suggest a different use of their time and energy. There are also many people who place themselves in their job or career doing what they love and where their values agree with how they use their time. Now here is the $50,000-a-year question (before taxes); How in the heck do you figure out what is right for you?
Coping with Stress: Managing End-of-School Year Stressors
Summer is quickly approaching which can bring up mixed emotions for students. There is the excitement for warm weather, field trips, prom, and the end of the school year. But this also means the stress of final exams, end-of-the-year projects, and the anticipation of finding out grades and GPA for the year. Sometimes, the stress can be unmanageable, and overwhelming, and make it difficult to even feel excited about the good times that come with the end of the year. As a parent, it is important to be mindful of the stress that your child may be experiencing during this time of year in providing support and not placing excessive pressure on academic performance.
Get Good Sleep: Tips for Improving Sleep Hygiene
Feeling Good About You: How To Boost Your Self-Esteem
Many of us can acknowledge the value and importance of self-worth. Higher our self-esteem, we feel better about ourselves and are more resilient. When your self-esteem is higher, you are also less vulnerable to anxiety and stress. Even though it is great to have higher self-esteem, improving our self-esteem is no easy task.
What Is Your Attachment Style?
An individual’s attachment style is their way to relate to other people. According to attachment theory, developed by a psychologist and psychiatrist in the 1950s, attachment style is developed in early childhood in response to their relationship with their caregiver(s). Our adult attachment style has been shown to mirror the early relationship we had with that caregiver. Attachment styles include the way we emotionally respond to others. The four adult attachment styles are: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant (disorganized).
CBT-based Strategies for Managing Depression
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) involves using your Thoughts to help manage your Emotions which in turn affect the way you either impulsively react or appropriately respond to a crisis or any situation. This is considered a CBT triangle- Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions. Depression may be described as feelings of "emptiness", "hopelessness", or "sadness". There are many different experiences of depression as there is uniqueness in people. Be aware of the following symptoms of Depression. Depression can show up as bodily and physical symptoms ( aches and pains that don't respond to traditional medical treatments); exhaustion; overeating or having 5 percent weight loss without intending to do so; excessive sleeping or unable to sleep enough; feeling more fidgety. Psychological symptoms include feelings of hopelessness and emptiness, maybe even anxiety. Suicidal ideations are not unusual. Social symptoms involve loss of interest in usual activities and avoiding others.
DBT- Based Strategies to Manage Anxiety
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is seeing both sides or in shades of grey in a situation rather than from an all-or-nothing perspective. One of the bases of DBT is using positive distraction strategies. The following are some ideas to manage Anxiety with positive distraction to get your mind focused on something other than what is bothering you.