Social distancing has become crucial in order to prevent the spread of the new coronavirus. However, this can feel lonely and isolating, especially if you typically are on your own whether in your work life or personal life. For many, connecting via social media has become the new norm. Whether being on your own is something you are used to or not, the differences at present are valid and can take a toll on anyone.
It remains uncertain how long this pandemic will last or the true impact it will have. Additionally, we still know little about the virus itself and how it impacts our daily lives moving forward. We still need to figure out what concerns we should have, as there are so many unknowns. However, what we do know right now is that everyone is impacted by this pandemic. Thus, it is time for us all to come together for a common goal, and utilize positive coping strategies to work through the present moment and any negative feelings that arise. This notion also gives comfort as we know we are not alone, we are all experiencing this.
You and your partner have decided to take a big step and consider couples counseling. Perhaps you are both wanting a better connection with one another or you feel stuck in some negative patterns. No matter the reason for seeking counseling, consider these four things before you begin. Here are some tools to help you to prepare and set up the process for success for you and your partner.
Validation is confirmation or affirmation that someone’s feelings are valid and worthwhile. Validation can be received through external or internal validation. Through messages over social media, television, podcasts, music and other avenues, validation is discussed and promoted as needed by everyone. So what is validation?
Most people who have experienced a breakup know how painful they can be, especially if you were not the one who decided to end things. Along with the feelings that already come with a breakup - sadness, loss of motivation, obsessive thoughts - we tend to make ourselves feel guilty, angry, or embarrassed by our feelings. You may think to yourself, ‘Why can’t I just get over this?’ or ‘If they ended the relationship, I shouldn’t want to be with them’. Unfortunately, our brains are not wired this way and your feelings are usually warranted. It may make you feel more validated to know that there are legitimate scientific reasons as to why breakups are so difficult.
Do you ever wonder why some people seem to be able to overcome obstacles and struggles more easily than others? That is because they may have more resilience. This is a trait that you are born with, but that can also be worked on and enhanced. Everyone can benefit on working on their resilience, so here are some tips:
It is common when fighting with someone you love to say things you later regret. This stems from our worst fears being brought out, whether it’s a fear being abandoned, betrayed, or unseen. When we fight with those we love, we often want to be heard and work through deep issues. Unfortunately, in the midst of fighting, resolutions don’t always come so easily. If you notice that you are becoming triggered, you should remove yourself from the situation. One of the best things you can do to prevent the fight from continuing is to allow one or both of you to take a short break. This works when there is a prior agreement and strategies in place. Here are some guidelines:
The key to learning to work together as a team is to remember that every healthy relationship involves give and take. Both individuals have to want to participate fully and find ways to support each other for a balanced, mutually fulfilling relationship. It will be worth it to set some time aside to discuss which tasks each of you are good at and which ones are challenging. If your spouse is stronger in an area that is difficult for you, maybe they can take over that responsibility. If you are both weak in a certain area, think about ways you can get outside help. Here are some tips you can utilize in your household to support your spouse with ADHD:
