How do we develop compassion? There are a few ways. Try to schedule time to implement self-compassion each week. Once a day, every few days, tailor a schedule that works best for you and dedicate a few moments to note these stressors and diligently preclude self-admonishment with self-kindness. Then increase the time periods in your compassion calendar to include these measures of mindfulness.
We hear a lot about the importance of forgiving those who have harmed us, but what about forgiving ourselves? Is that important as well? Absolutely. When we hurt others, we experience regret and apologize, hoping to make amends. However, we often beat ourselves up for mistakes and develop negative thoughts about ourselves because of it. Within these experiences come feelings of shame and guilt; while these feelings are similar and can occur in tandem with one another, they are slightly different. Self-forgiveness is one way to reduce feelings of guilt and shame; we’ll be discussing strategies you can use to engage in self-forgiveness.
Self-compassion is thought of as giving yourself the same compassion you'd give others. That means that self-compassion involves comforting and taking care of yourself. Self-compassion includes skills like mindful awareness, self-acceptance, living your values, and loving-kindness. When we have self-compassion, we can identify when we fail to meet our standards or live our values, but we don't judge ourselves so much. That's why self-compassion may help us increase feelings of happiness and well-being.
We can improve feelings of happiness through changing our thoughts, behaviors, and circumstances. Research has largely focused on changing our thoughts with lots of published strategies to help with changing our thoughts. Within this there are some strategies that you can use to change negative thoughts into being more positive, and thus happier overall.
As we grow, our families hope that we remain healthy, feel satisfied with our careers, have satisfying friendships and romantic relationships, and feel positive overall about our lives. Are there factors that might impact the transition from adolescence to adulthood, ensuring we feel positive about these life transitions? Absolutely.
Research suggests that a teen’s affect, particularly positive affect, is a critical factor impacting positive outlook. So what is affect? It’s the tendency to express positive or negative emotions, which in turn influences how we experience things and determine whether to judge a given situation as positive or negative.
With the pandemic forcing many of us to stay inside as much as possible, most therapists are meeting their clients virtually at present, in order to protect others and remain safe. While there has been an adjustment to navigating virtual therapy, there have been many benefits to being able to transition to more virtual opportunities for therapy.
Being in a relationship with someone who has a trauma history can be uniquely challenging at times. In many cases, individuals who experience trauma may behave in ways that are hard for their partner to understand. They may experience panic attacks, express distrust, escalate quickly to anger, or become disengaged. As trauma can interrupt emotional processing, those who have experienced trauma often struggle to articulate what is really going on inside of them. This can cause conflict and miscommunication, and it can make it difficult for well-intended partners to know what kind of support to provide. If this sounds a bit like your experience, not to fear! There are ways to become a trauma-informed and compassionate partner while also maintaining your own boundaries and safety within your relationship.
Our relationship with ourselves is often at the core of other challenges such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or difficulties in relationships. How do we shift to seeing ourselves and treating ourselves the same way we treat others? If we can learn to be our own friends and practice self-compassion, we can boost our spirits and alleviate some of the struggles leading to that increased critical voice.
Often when we think of Valentine’s Day we think about hearts, love, gifts, and planning. For many who struggle with anxiety or worry thoughts, Valentine’s Day can be full of worries around disappointing someone else. Worries around being alone and your future relationships can also come to mind if you do not have a partner. For those struggling with depression, cynical thoughts around the unworthiness of finding love, cynical thoughts around the commercialization of the holiday, or hopelessness around finding a partner may occur. With so many thoughts like these, it is likely that Valentine’s Day can be difficult for many!
Whether you're in a relationship or not, focusing on self-love and kindness is crucial in order to support and love others as well. Often when we are single during Valentine’s Day we can feel frustrated with extravagant gifts, or feeling we have to buy presents. While we may have varying opinions on Valentine’s Day, we know it’s celebrated so why not take advantage of it and celebrate you?
Many clinicians and clients alike tout the positive aspects of journaling. When working towards a personal goal, managing emotional wellbeing, or looking for a creative outlet, journaling can be an excellent coping mechanism. Journaling is a simple, and extremely effective coping mechanism yet it is largely underutilized.
Dating during the pandemic? What are the rules? Is there an etiquette to it? While we currently live in an ever-changing world as social distancing remains at the forefront of much of what we do there are still ways to determine how to date safely and form connections with others, while still practicing social distancing. What are the fears around dating during the time of COVID?
Getting a text or call from a friend, family member, or romantic partner with the words, “We have to talk”, always evokes a bit of anxiety. Whether you’re the one delivering this statement or receiving it, we all definitely don’t enjoy this phrase and what often follows. Are there ways to talk without having to use this phrase? Absolutely. This post aims to provide you with a way to communicate with others, never having to use this statement.
We’ve all experienced the negative effects of social media at some point in time and we have either all taken a break or have had our friends and family take social media breaks for a time. We know that taking a break can help reduce our stress levels. Research is limited, however has revealed that a little break from social media can relieve physiological symptoms of stress, at least in the short-term.
Often individuals come into therapy looking to understand and explore self-esteem as well as boost their self-esteem. Individuals develop a close, trusting relationship with their therapist and share a lot about themselves. Through this process one can begin to feel that a genuine relationship has built and that they and their therapist have mutual respect for each other. Through the therapeutic relationship, one can heal from past negative experiences and shift their perspectives around various situations and circumstances. Self-esteem is often linked to many of these.
We are always changing, and our lives are always evolving. Whether on a small or large scale we are constantly facing various stressors, challenges, different viewpoints and other situations that enact change. Some change occurs because we choose it, or we have some control over it, other times this change is out of our control. How does change impact our goals if we are ever-changing? Settings goals often serves as a motivator, it contributes to our emotional and physical health and allows us to find a sense of purpose. However, we often struggle to keep consistent with the goals we set. It’s so hard to predict what the future holds for each of us, and how our plans might need to shift or can be impacted by potential challenges in the future. While this feels like a lot to take on and consider, one solution to this concern is: goal adjustment..
As the pandemic continues and the way we typically work and play has changed drastically, we are spending more time at home, away from our friends and family. With limited social connection and disruption of routines, there will be an adjustment period for all. Prioritizing your self care during this time is crucial for your mental health and will help reduce stress and anxiety, boost your mood, and support your overall health and wellness.
As the new year approaches and we begin to think about goals and resolutions, we all aim to have healthier and more positive habits, Creating good habits allows you to develop these goals and resolutions into automatic behaviors that you do naturally as part of your day to day life. How do you choose those new goals and turn them into healthy habits? List out the habits you’d like to adopt and then follow the tips below in order to move your goals into automatic pilot.
